Getting Older

I WILL BE TURNING 55 HERE SOON. I REALLY DON'T SEE ANYTHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO ANYMORE.
I LIVE FROM PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK. ON FOOD STAMPS. NO INSURANCE. NO SAVINGS
WIFE IS 10 YEARS YOUNGER AND CAN'T WORK BECAUSE SHE HAS SPINAL PAIN FROM CAR ACCIDENT, HEREDITARY AFFLICTIONS. ALL THE FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS ARE ON ME. WITH NO HELP.
CHILDREN ARE ADULTS AND LIVE IN ANOTHER STATE. I CAN'T AFFORD TO GO SEE THEM.
I AM A BELIEVER, AND I AM PONDERING IF THAT IS TRUE OR IS THE WHOLE CHRISTIAN BELIEF FOR REAL OR NOT.
I WISH I COULD BE DEAD FOR A FEW MINUTES TO SEE FOR MYSELF IF THERE IS ANOTHER SIDE.(LIKE THE MOVIE - FLATLINERS).
THE FUTURE LOOKS PRETTY ******* BLEAK.
WAGES WON'T INCREASE THAT MUCH. LIVING WILL GET MORE EXPENSIVE.
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THEY WOULD DO? I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO.NO MONEY TO SEE A QUALIFIED PROFESSIONAL ABOUT THESE THOUGHTS.
LIVING IN NORTH CAROLINA SUCKS.
munkstunk munkstunk
51-55
Jan 21, 2013