Okay..i know none of my friends and allies will find this (or will hey..?) but I just need to say thank you so much for being there for me. No joke. Even the people on tumblr, witty, and experience project. Thank you.

This summer started off like $hit with me assuming my parents loved me enough to accept me but ending in fear and heartbreak because of what they did and said. "I'd rather have cancer than a "gay" child." "Disgrace, embarrassment, we will put you in a mental hospital to FIX you." Yeah..and they said much worse so I'd rather not go into it.

This summer also ended like $hit cause my parents threw out my guy clothing and forced me to go to school in girl clothes. Most horrible days of my life. I had to run from my home in the morning and change into my guy clothes in the girls locker room and when people came in, I'd run into the stalls. I had to stay until 9pm at school so I could get the janitors to open the locker room so I could go back and change AGAIN before I came back home. I was always so insecure and felt horrible about myself and I almost broke down in class at least 4 times. Even my friends knew I wasn't happy. My best friend looked back at the homecoming pictures when I wore a dress and I cringed and said that the guy in the dress wasn't me and she agreed and said,"Well obviously. I could see that entire night you were unhappy and just wanted to go home. Your smile wasn't even real. Plus, if that really was you, you'd be all guy fancy and going crazy in the pic. Thats NOT you." My art teacher also found out and I went to talk to her. She gave me advise that might have just saved my life. She told me that I shouldn't be afraid to walk home every night and I should take it slow but firmly. I'd wake up normally, put on the clothes I feel comfortable in, and walked to school and said nothing. Then when I come home, I should be all excited and happy and dancing in your guy clothes. I should also build up my support at school and in the more accepting parts of my family. I didn't start the family part yet but I got more allies and even the janitors are my friends and I don't even have to ask them to leave the locker room open. I'm in stage crew and all my friends their (with some exceptions) know about me and are totally supportive. Now that I'm building up my support I feel a lot stronger and happy. Next step is to find a therapist to talk it out and listen to my story and help me out with the rest of the problems and maybe even prescribe T shots and whatnot.

Honestly, I can't believe I've gotten this far. Thanks to all of you guys and girls for helping me through this. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!!! I'm almost free and its all because of the small things teachers, janitors, friends both in person and online and security guards do that make my life so much better. THANK YOU.
JokerArtist JokerArtist
18-21, T
1 Response Sep 14, 2012

I hope everything continues to go okay for you & you get what you want.