I Have a Hard Time Talking to People

I am fairly intelligent I am on the upper scale of genius; however, it does no me no good because I don't have social skills.  I really don't know how to open a conversation or what to say to others without feeling like I am boring them.  I either say to much or am so much in awe that I say nothing.

I can write and express ideas and opinions, create fictional stories and even an autobiography, but when it comes to speaking to others I know I am a social flop.

My self esteem is low because I feel inadequate around others. I usually use sarcasm or humor to fend of the feeling of being on edge.

Relationships for me have not been successful not long.  I do not  want to die alone. Loneliness is exactly what it is cracked up to be.

I grew up isolated from others event though I was in a public school I was a stranger amongst my classmates. I never knew how to fit in.  That is still my problem.

People say to me be yourself.   I don't eve really know who my self is some days. I am a combat veteran, intersexed and according to my famiy an abomination.

Lack of social skills is due to staying isolated because of fear of driving others away.

Micayla Micayla
61-65, F
1 Response Feb 14, 2009

"I am a combat veteran, intersexed and according to my famiy an abomination. Lack of social skills is due to staying isolated because of fear of driving others away."<br />
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But you are not as isolated anymore. Since you have found the freedom to finally be happy with who you are you will find it easier to become more social. Just remember that most of the people that you meet are in the same boat about not knowing how to start a meaningful conversation. <br />
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I can only say that I am aware of some of what you went through because I lived in similar situations. It was only just recently that I discovered the meaning of something I was told a long time ago. <br />
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Be honest and open with not only others around you but to yourself. <br />
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Speak with a combination of both heart and mind but never allow another to dissuade you from the truth. <br />
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And never think that people don't find interest in you because when you do you lose interest in yourself.<br />
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Be proud of being a true vet and not just one that served somewhere else in the time fr<x>ame. <br />
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Understand what it is to be intersexed and how that may be used for your advantage. You have a unique ability to see from both perspectives. How many people can honestly say that that they have survived life as both sexes.<br />
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But above all else, remember that you told them goodbye and that they will no longer be able to destroy your self esteem.