I have felt this way for a good two years now. I don't know if it's because I'm numb or if it's because I'm so used to bad stuff happening that I don't bother actually hurting anymore. Maybe I've come to terms that I'll never make friends. Maybe it hurts so bad I can't feel it because the pain is too deep. Maybe the pain is lost and I can't grasp onto it to feel anything so that I can cry. Maybe it's just that I am angry and not sad. Maybe I just swallow my tears and stuff my feelings away. So many maybes and I just want to have a big long cry and I can't.