I Feel Better When I Am Cut...

Seems like the only times i feel good is when i cut. Its my only crutch. It helps to release my painful emotions of anger, bitterness sadness, abandonment, loneliness and much much more. I've been a cutter for 8 years now though and I am scared because i am having trouble stopping and I have cut so many times that there isn't much room to cut anymore. Thinking though that i always have cutting as a back up plan brings me comfort. I keep razor blades hidden in my room in various spots. I know I'll always be able to turn to the blade when i am feeling hurt and wounded.