Breaking Down.

I want to cut again. It feels like a need right now. I did it last night and again a few hours ago. I feel so depressed but I don't know why. I feel like I'm spiriling out of control once again. Maybe I should get some help before I start to get any worse but parts of me doesn't want to. I was supposed to be better years ago. I never really stopped but I used to go weeks and months without hurting myself. Since January though its been happining more often. It scares me that I need to do it so much now. I haven't had to deal with these feelings in years. I don't know what to do. Its raining right now, I cant even escape this house to try to make this go away. Maybe I should do it. I already did so whats the point in not giving in again? Why drag out this overwhelming feeling of need any longer? Yet I feel like I shouldn't. It feels like its a bad idea. I haven't felt like that before. **** it. I'm probably going to end up doing it anyway. Probably right after I'm done writing this.
xkrissex xkrissex
18-21, F
Sep 18, 2012