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My Battle Scars


The scars have long since healed
And although I haven't cut myself in years
I can still remember the pain that ripped through my heart
That drove me to pick up a blade and cut myself
Anything to take the pain away even if it was for a moment
First the burning sensation and when you see the blood
The pain flows out of you; but it never lasts
Only those closest to me knows about my scars
I hide it from the world
No-one understood why I would hurt myself
They said I did it for attention, if this was
the case, why go through all the trouble
to hide my scars.
All I really asked is for was for someone to listen
But I was judged and ******** of all my dignity.

I didn't join this group because I want to cut myself
I wanted to explain to the world why we cut ourselves
Although I have found other ways to deal with my pain
There are still those moments when I feel so
overwhelmed with pain that cutting myself
seems like a way to relieve the pain
even if it is just for the moment







 






























Jay04Sch Jay04Sch 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 20, 2013

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when i first cut my self i remember wakeing up in the middle of the night and looking at my arm to make sure they were really there. I still cut i am haveing some serious issues stoping and i regret ever makeing that first cut cause ever since then i have been spiraling down and no one notices.... what should i do i cant tell my parents(not that i would want to anyway) i feel as if no one is capible of helping me now that i have lost control.

i understand how difficult it is to not want to go for the blade it becomes an emotional release to our pain. Hiding the scars and being jugded I know how lonely you feel. But as hard as it is now to believe me, there is other ways to cope with your pain. Baby steps you not going to wake up tomorrow and find the answer, when you feel the urge to cut hold on for the next 15 min. I could do it so can you. You can mail me any time. Good luck