I Wish to Sleep and Never Wake Up...

Its as if everything i do is wrong... i can never do the right thing. I feel that i am a burden to my friends so i have begun to seperate myself from some of them. i truly hate the fact that people care... they should not waste their time with me. before my ex quit talking to me she would say "i still love and care for you" hehe... like that makes me feel any better... that made me feel worse... its been a year since she left me and i still love her... im not over it... i beleave this means there is something wrong with me... there must be... most people get over things like this at the drop of a hate like she did for example. the next day she was all smiles and i was basicly dead to the world. i was made to be the bad guy but i did nothing wrong... im scared to talk to any girl in any of my classes because of the fear that it will all happin again... but i dont understand... im not a bad person... im not selfish... i go to church... im the son of a preacher... i try my best to make everyone happy, i even put people before me... but yet i feel this way... and i wonder why. I truly hate myself for being so nice to people. I deserve to be hated. I wish my ex along with everyone who has lied to me in my life would just come through my door and beat the living hell out of me... but that will never happin because people so call "care " and "love" me. i have even told them that if you realy "loved" me then you would let me die but no one listens... I am 18 years old going on 19 and to be honest... i pray to god i die before my birthday... 

Krie Krie
3 Responses Mar 27, 2009

I agree actually. Life just is what it is. <br />
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I think everything missionover said is true. You can only make your desicions not anyone elses. <br />
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Its hard to continue at times I know but Krie you must! <br />
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I did! And you helped me along with everyone on the site

I have been through the same thing as you, and it takes a long time to get over it. But it is possible. Now I am over her, and found that life is not a cheerful place, in fact you cant say life is fair or unfair, it just "is". I can only speak for myself, you must make your own decisions. You are young experience more and make up your own mind.

((Hugs))<br />
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I know how it feels. I do nothing right anymore. I am 18 and just turned in November. <br />
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You can tell by my blogs that I am having a really difficult time right now. Everything has gone downhill for me it seems and only the people on EP have made it possible to continue.