Why Am I Still Struggling?

you would think having a person there to help you would be a helpful thing and it would make you feel better. Due to some bad reactions to some of the meds I'm on, almost everyone I care about thinks I'm taking the wrong direction into helping myself with my battle with bi-polar disorder. They don't understand the highs and especially the lows I go thru. Even though I'm starting to rely on God more and got back to praying again, I can't help but feel inpatient, like he's not even listening to me anymore. I just want to be normal again. I don't want to be talking about this kind of stuff anymore, but if I don't fix the problem it'll only get worse. It's probably why I keep everyone at such a distance because I feel like I'm being judged for trying to do the right thing but when I feel they're judging eyes and tones it just breaks me down inside because I feel like I can't do anything right. I am tired and I get to points where I just want it all to stop, for the pains and struggle to slip out of and off of me.
DarqChyld DarqChyld
26-30, F
Jan 10, 2013