I feel trapped by life. I feel like I have no future, I have no talents. I have no friends, I'm socially awkward and people automatically hate me. My parents don't know what to do with me and I can't talk to them about anything. I'm hurting my boyfriend being so down and he's the only thing I have. I feel so disconnected from the world and so lost; and I've lost interest in everything. When I wake up in the morning I'm so upset that I'm still here; I wish I'd never wake up. I'm such a failure I couldn't successfully kill myself.
Blisseh Blisseh
18-21, F
3 Responses Jan 14, 2013

I feel the same pointlessness. I have been my worst critic (helped by bullying--i was fat and felt ugly). I still feel fat and ugly, though I can rationally see it's no longer the case. I also feel trapped in my situation, compounded by depression, etc... It will take a while for me to extricate myself, but it will happen (or the years of stress will catch up with me first--either way).

I don't know that I'm helping. But you aren't alone. And like the others who've responded, I don't see the ugliness. The fact is, pretty and ugly are not objective evaluations; bullies will make up reasons to abuse anyone they can and get away with it. Displacement aggression is what it is--ruining someone else's day to make themselves feel better. It never really is about the people they attack. But we live with the consequences.

Some people love you. Hurting yourself is the worst thing to do to them.

Sometimes just typing a response just isnt enough...well here it goes... I want you to start looking at your reflection and saying positive I'm beautiful, I'm amazing, talented and definately loved! We are all socially awkward in some way, it just takes time to grow and become you. The reason you are still here is because there is a part of you that screams "I want to live, love and be happy!" Give that part of you a fighting chance. You are worth it!!! I'm here praying for you, me and anyone else in despair. I hope all the best for you and you will certainly be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope this helped at least a little. Warm hugs to you:)
Your friend

Your not alone my dear!