I have spent my entire life suffering from depression and anxiety. I have drug, alcohol and gambling addiction because I need to escape at all costs. My personal dictionary describes words as follows:
Sex - something other people have.
Friends -people I have to pretend to be someone else around
Family - Tireless critics the I'm afraid to be around
Work - The only reason for leaving the house
TV - the only company I have
Future - A time that keeps coming without bringing the change I pray for.

This is no way to exist. I just want to die so my pain will end.
sammysadness sammysadness
36-40, M
2 Responses Aug 28, 2014

Damn, man. I can definitely identify with some of these things you've written about. The thing that I'll never understand is why some people have such an easy time finding true friends, while for others it's so much of a challenge. In this day and age, it seems like everyone is out for themselves and thinks nothing about harming someone else for their own benefit. I have a shrinking family and only two friends I can absolutely count on. I would love to expand my circle, but finding trustworthy people is such a challenge. Any time you want to you want to talk about your struggles, hit me up. I have a lot of the feelings that you're going through, but I'm trying to hang on. I know there's at least a few people who would miss me if I was gone, and I'm sure the same is true for you as well.

I feel the same way and want to die to end my suffering.