I just need some encouragement I am 16 i have a major depression order and i just feel horrible at times feeling as if death is better than life. My father had the same disorder he dealed with his with drugs also his father had the same disorder and he killed himself I dont want to kill myself but i feel as sometimes its the only option. I just dont know what to do because its hard to function while being depressed all the time. and having no one to talk to about i just feel so alone like no one loves me i question his god does sometimes. often feels nelected by him.

anita23 anita23
2 Responses Feb 10, 2010

Hey sweety. I know it's hard. I've been there too and I know EXACTLY how you feel. You feel so hopeless and scared, like no one can help you and you feel all alone. But let's not talk about your bad feelings here because I am not a therapist, I am someone who knows what it's like to be in pain.

I can assume that from what you've said, you are feeling suicidal now, and you are here because you are troubled and you are seeking for help.

I just want you to know that you are not alone. It's very common for people to feel depressed and lonely, so being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are trying to seek help is nothing to be ashamed of either.

That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel depressed/suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights...

I have depression running in my family as well but the way I see it, is that instead making the same mistakes as they did, i try to learn from it and that's how i set myself free. Just because depression runs in your family does not mean that it is something you can't escape from so please don't use that as an excuse. Learn from their mistakes and do things that you like, take small steps towards becoming a happier and healthier.

And last but not least, if you need someone to talk to please feel free to message I will always answer your messages.

Good luck sweetheart.

Judging by your screen name I'm guessing you are female. I am male and significantly older than you but your experience is so familiar to me.<br />
I have had suicidal ideation (thoughts of suicide) since I was 12.<br />
Depression also ran in my family. I use the past tense because several of my older relatives have killed themselves and several of my same generation siblings and cousins suffer from depression. It has nothing to do with outside experiences (necessarily) and everything to do with brain chemistry. Fortunately we live in a world where remarkable advances have been made on the subject of chemical imbalances that cause depression and there are dozens of medications that can help. I would urge you to go to your doctor or free clinic and describe what you are feeling. Chances are very good that in just a couple of weeks you could have a new lease on life. It worked for me.<br />
Don't accept the first diagnosis and be sure to see a pediatrician or juvenile psychiatrist because its been shown that certain antidepressants have the opposite effect on teens (make you feel even worse) so you want to get help from someone who has experience treating adolescents and children. There is really relief available. Please look into it.