I Have Had Some Bad Luck

Everything in my life sucks My parents were nuts they beat me and never cared. I have always had this intense pain inside of me since i could remember. I have wanted to die for a long time since i was 8 and a half to be exact .Than when I was twelve my parents split up my mom moved away and i only seen her 2 times since then (im 18) So i ended up addicted to drugs and my virginity was raped from me.. later on i met this guy i was 14 and he was 18 we have now been together for 4 years and let me tell you that was a huge mistake i made. I dont even know who I am anymore he changed me. Everytime I have a problem and I go to him he tells me how much its my fault hes never been supportive of me. I need something to live for i have myself of course and school but i feel like so much is missing. This cant be it this isnt love or how its supposed to be I may want to die but I must keep going on because I have been living through hell for so long and i have made it this far but most of the time that isnt enough to keep me going I have been exausted and having mental break downs a lot lately and i have tried to change my life before my self where i lived and it all boils down too im just not happy I think i need to loose my ******* boyfriend and focus on myself and school but its going to be hard but i can do it because out of all the **** i have been through i know this ... the best way to kill yourself is to reinvent your life change can be good!

claraella claraella
18-21, F
Mar 6, 2010