It's Getting Too Much

Before you read id like to have you all know that im doing this as an alternative to counelling or whatever else you might suggest. all im going to say about why i dont want to talk to anyone is because i am so young and i dont want to be judged or come across attention seeking if anyone found out, that and the fact that id be treated differently.

My life isn't too bad. But there has been a lot of bad things that have happened to me. My dad died when I was very young so I never got to meet him, I've been bullied a lot thought primary school. Lately my life has been alright though. But every now and again I just feel like its all building up and I just want to disappear, like, what's the down side of committing suicide, I'll feel nothing once I'm dead, who would REALLY care.

The main reason I want to be gone is because of my home life. As you know I have no father. Also my brother is continuously hitting and just.... I don't know how to explain it, maybe annoying as an understatement and throw in some abusing. My mum has a lot on her plate, single income looking after me and my brother, but lately she's not the same. She's more harsh. The other day she just attacked me and punched me about 4 times before screaming and chasing me around the house. Yes I was scared so I ran away, I didn't want to be near her, then she found me and I was again scared of what she was going to do me. Anyways, I guess I'm just wanting some advice on getting out. And by that I mean becoming happier, not dying!

Please just someone to chat to would be great.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 10, 2013

i sympathize with you my friend. you are still young and facing some life's problems, but who isn't? i believe that in future these problems will make you a better and stronger person. you will be able to feel the pain of others and will do your best to help them. you will become a good man. in the mean time, as you said, your mother has a lot on her plate and she needs your help. she is not mad at you but mad at her life. a little help from yourself will hopefully change your relationship for the better. you may also try this attitude towards your brother. my friend, if you manage to have a good brother, then you would have achieved a lot in life. good luck and take care.