Dom-speak

///CAVEAT///
Subs, slaves and the like: feel free to kvetch and complain on this posting.  It's why I wrote the story.

Do you ever get sick of the Dom-speak?  When a Dom asks you a question, but it's a leading question -- there's only one right answer? 

How about when they ask you a question they punctuate by pausing and then asking "is it not?"  There's no way to answer that one...  "no, it is not," or "yes it is not..." either way, you don't know what the hell they're trying to say.

A long time ago, a poser-Dom (also known as a Dombass) said this phrase to me:  "I am so totally going to dominate you."  ...{puzzled}  um, thanks for the warning.  I'll try to feign shock and awe.

Or how about when they start speaking in Olde English as if they're from the fricken Renaissance?  I overheard this one Dom say to his sub, "Your essence fills my head, my sweet; I am overcome with desire of you, let us part."  After the door swung shut, I burst out laughing.  I still can't take that guy seriously.  What boggles my mind, what's up with the chick?  Sure, submissives get to enjoy a whole host of things they may not particularly favor... but holy crap.  Olde English?  Posturing much?

The language of domination seems to be as coiffed as their hair.  That's not my schtick.  I am curt, to the point, brief.  I don't use million dollar words when nickles and dimes will do.  I don't worry about sounding intelligent because I'm more focused on content.  And yet, I seem to be in the minority. 

I feel for submissives -- true submissives.  What a strain on your temperament that must be to want to fulfill this longing within you, only to have to translate what you hear into intelligible English.  It stops being about connection and mindfuck and turns into parading and posturing -- exactly what many purists are trying to avoid.  Now, I make no claims on the Gorean style and not judgments either.  If you're gonna go big, go big.  Outside those realms...  it just comes across as silly -- NOT the image a Dom/me hopes to achieve.

My thoughts on being a Domme are this:  less truly is more.  The less you say, the smarter you sound.  Women, since time began, have told men that they literally talk themselves out of sex.  It's no different in the D/s world.  Confidence and control come from actually controlling your emotions, but most importantly YOUR TONGUE.  Say what needs saying and nothing more.

One last thought:  the exchange between a Master and sub ought to be private.  I don't believe in public displays of dominance (also known as PDD) unless that's an intentional part of a gathering or group event.  Outsiders will see your submissive and they will certainly judge.  Open your mouth like an out-of-control nut-job and you give them more to judge.  Your eyes should convey to your subbie everything that they need to know in the moment.  ******* on leashes, piercings and clamps may make you feel like the big Dom/me in control, but if you HAD better control, your subbie wouldn't need the public reprimand.  Just saying.

I have heard Dom/mes say some pretty funny things to their subs, and to other Dom/mes.  I'm hoping you all will post your funniest memories.  The shingles is kicking my narrow *** so I could use the humor.
TrustIsEarned TrustIsEarned
46-50, F
10 Responses Sep 7, 2012

Good story! Thank you.

I love your phrase "Your eyes should convey to your subbie everything that they need to know in the moment." Mmmmmm!<br />
Having said that, there's also something wonderful about the idea of being jerked on a leash in public, I think.

Trusty, I would give this a million votes up, if I could! <br />
I am at the gymnastics center with my kid and had no way of containing my hysterical laughter.<br />
PDD......bwahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya like that one? I think I coined it on a comment on someone else's post.

i truly hope the shingles has found its way to someone more deserving

Have you ever had shingles? It sucks donkey balls. Honestly. It's bad. I'm no longer contagious but I still feel like ***. Tired and exhausted and hurt all over. Plus, where the shingles are, were, whatever, it is still suffering from neuralgia -- inflamed nerves that keep sending the wrong impulses (like one where it feels like I'm on fire) and it may be that way for a few more weeks. It's like GOD wants to make sure I can identify and empathize with my patients... Thank you for reading and commenting!

yes, the less you say, the smarter you sound

Good advice for Dom/mes, too.<br />
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As always, very well said!

I'm da dom bomb if you catch my drift. you best submit if you want to be my *****!

You said it ALL to perfection when you said this....<br />
<br />
." Your eyes should convey to your subbie everything that they need to know in the moment. ******* on leashes, piercings and clamps may make you feel like the big Dom/me in control, but if you HAD better control, your subbie wouldn't need the public reprimand. Just saying." <br />
<br />
Perfect.....just Perfect.....

Lol, I think some need to remember that if the Marquis de Sade or Leopold von Sacher Masoch had written in the present day, they'd sound a hell of a lot different.

That would be worth hearing!

{giggles} Yep. You got that right!!!

Oh Trust, this was perfect! I just finished a really funny conversation with a good friend, and now I get to laugh with this too!<br />
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"Is it not?" - haahah....yes<br />
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I also don't like the We/we, Our/our, Him. It can appear pretentious, especially when you first meet (if online). <br />
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I have indeed encountered the Olde English Renaissance Dom. Don't get me wrong: manners, class and a basic grasp of the English language is a beautiful thing. However, "Dost thou fancy a tryst with Me in my abode, and perhaps My appendage in thy toothsome cavern?" is likely not going to get you very far. Just a hunch.<br />
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This was really enjoyable and fun to read, Trust, thank you.

Dom bomb! My new word! :-D

Somewhere around "appendage in thy toothsome cavern," my coffee spontaneously escaped and is now all over my desk...messy, but hilarious.

Right?!?!! That's funnier than the one I heard. I have shingles right now. So THAT made my fricken day.

Hahah... excellent! I do like causing a good mess! *aims to cause more mess in the future*

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