About Ready To Just Bail
Bombs and blasts burst in the background as I write this blog while my husband of ten years watches his military show from his favorite chair for about the fifteeth time..the same episode. That's where he is ALL THE TIME, every day and night. He does work..but it all amounts to about three to four hours a day. He's not abusive (outwardly), he pays his bills and minds his business. But he/we have no friends, go nowhere and do nothing. We used to at least shop for groceries and take sunday drives but not even that now
I won't go into all the reasons I can't spend much more time here but I'd love to list a few. The top one to me is that he refuses intimacy and has for some time. I have no interest in renewing it at this point because this has been a problem I have been willing to compromise on since day 1 (like we initially had intimacy once a week and I was willing to accept our once a month compromise.. but I soooo hated it. I wanted someone to do back up for him or something!) But he has not made any efforts to resolve his "issues" and even try to be affectionate in any way. Once in awhie he will call me babe again, which he used to do but stopped. But now it just creeps me out. How DARE HE?! For most of us this would be plenty enough.. and he doesn't even understand it! When I say I can't take it.. He is totally upset and shocked (although I think that's all an act.) But now I'm just numb and wouldn't want to if he offered.
I'm done. DONE.
I have a grandson tho, even thought I'm only 29 , and he was placed with me by CPS last year. Neat kid, 7 year old. I hoped he would be returned to his mother by now but It doesn't appear this will be the case. I may have to eiher permanently guardian him or allow him to go to Arizona with his Paternal Granmother, where he is headed now for a few months. I would have left by now but I was afraid thatI'd lose custody of him. But now I'm not even sweatin' that and I need to just leave. I can't take it another minute.
Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead.