Job?! Career?! Self Esteem?!I am middle aged and have not had paid work for 17yrs, since I was pregnant with my first child. Before then I worked in a co-operative cafe. I have been being a parent whilst also sorting out my '****', which I have quite a lot of. My children became a huge catalyst for me to not perpetuate the destructive emotional upbringing I got from my own parents. Parenting and '**** sorting' takes its toll on my energy levels but I do realise that I need to take a step towards being useful, other than just to my kids. I am lacking self confidence and skills and when I look at career profiles they seem beyond me and need years of training and money to carry this out. I need a job for my own self worth, money comes into it but firstly for my confidence, that I can sustain a job and be and feel USEFUL. We seem to be judged on what we do so much and not who we are. I try to think about how my behaviour impacts on the world, the people and planet and by sorting my **** out (which is a continual process) I hope I have been learning how to do this more successfully, but! But!
I want to do something useful with my life but I'm not sure what that is or if there is anything out there for me. This all sounds so self pitying and I don't want it to. I have two beautiful kids and a house to live in and trees around me. I fit in the world but not so well in society.