I want someplace to write about my life and the pain I have suffered now that I know my days are short.  All my life I have always had a weight problem which has controled my life however now it has consumed me.  I am thinking of maybe getting a blog so one day when I am gone maybe my family can really know who I am and understand my life.  Not sure why I care about my family for much of my fate and problems I blame them for.  I doubt they would even read what I wrote.

I am Tammy and since the beginning of the year I gave into being bed ridden. Finally I am at peace which the few who are close to me don't understand for they feel I have given up. As I write, which I am still perplexed as to if I should, they may come to an understanding as to why the peace has set in.

The computer was never really my friend when I was up and around however since becoming confined there are not many options for passing the day. I wish I had choosen an apartment with a more active location for window watching because activity is lacking where I am. Not a yellow car today.

I now wonder what the people back in school would say about me now. I'm sure they would reduce their words to a whisper because we are more politically correct. It's the same as the whispers and stares I heard from the strangers when in public. Now, behind my walls, no one can stare. I hear all the words which are being said for I control them. Life is on my terms. For once, this is my stage and I will sing. Will anyone care this time?  Will anyone hear me?  Will this be one more time I will be alone?
LovelyLori LovelyLori
31-35, F
1 Response Mar 17, 2009

You are loved, and that's fore sure