This Is Probably Pathetic But Here Goes....

        The reality of my days wears me down.  I constantly wear a smile, giving into most everyone else's interests.  I get brief moments of otherworldly pursuits.  (my god this feels like a lot of whining)   I work at night, meaning I don't see my kids much due to school. (A downer)   I don't see my wife much because she babysits a four year old on top of our 14 month old.  (please stops me if I start rambling)   I don't see much free time.  I try to work as much as I can to support our household.  I do feel underappreciated sometimes. (this is not to say I don't hear thankyou, but sometimes I feel I deserve a little more)   I want to run away ..........  to another place.  It is not a physical place.  I am unsure if anyone could go with me though I would appreciate the company.   I am for the lack of a more collegiate word.....  LONELY.    I want to get away from the humdum of the monotony of every day living.  I want to be back where I was two or three years ago.  I felt loved by many.  Appreciated by more.  I loved those I was around.  Those times are gone and all that is left is this bland existance of wake up, go to work, come home, go to sleep....repeat....  (I am such a cry baby)   My life is grey.  I need some color. 

Does anyone have any crayons?

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5 Responses Mar 26, 2009

same here, i'm lonely all the time<br />
plus reality as 'normal' ppl know it, really hurts me<br />
but they will never understand.

Crybaby? Whiner? F*** NO! Your no different than A LOT of us! There was a movie a looonnnngg time ago (probably black & white!) with Danny Kaye called "The Secceret Life of Waltere Mitty" that delt with the same issues! I agree with everything the guys before me said too. You really need to find some kind of diversion - for yourself. Believe me you actually owe it to the rest of your family - and they do owe you the understanding that you need it in order to be there for them later on.<br />
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Whine on Brother! I hear you & I understand exactly what you're saying.

I don't consider you to be a crybaby! I totally understand the desire to escape reality!<br />
<br />
There a number of ways in which you can do this, including engaging in activities that you enjoy! I know that, in your case, time is a consideration; I hope that you can "squeeze in" some fun, escapist activities!

And I thought that I was the only one.....Can I join you.....We can have some fun together.....<br />
<br />
But really...I come here when I want to get away.....

I've got a box or 2, now if I could just figure out how to open them, LOL! <br />
We all go thru this, the everyday hum drum gets old, now try to flip so it's not so everyday. With working the shift you do that's gonna be hard, especially with kids. Take a day maybe 2 where you and the family just leave town or maybe go for an outting, make sure nothing you do during that times is the same as if it were a normal day. Maybe that'll help. <br />
Let's go find some paint and really flip this world upside down, LOL!