Get Me Outta' Here!

I so want to get out of here. I'm so sick of staying in one place, month after month after month. I mean literally. I've not been out of this little northern NY state city since Mid-November...unless you count a cab detour, to a town less than 10 miles away. My cabbie picked me up from WalMarts and then had to drop another passenger off in a nearby town about 8 miles up the road...that was in January. That little 15 minute detour was the only time I've been out of this city in months.

I've barely even been out of my little apartment--except to do the weekly errands and go to work a few blocks away.

I'm not a person who likes standing still for long--and what with having to be like this over a long cold winter, when nothing much is going on--it's been hell.

I'm completely and utterly alone. I haven't much money, so going "out on the town" for me, means either a walk around the same old city streets, or maybe, if it's 5 below (minus 22 C), a walk around the local mall--whoopie.

What makes it even harder, is that I'm a small town girl--and a country girl, sort of, at that. This is the first time, in 46 years, that I've ever lived in a city--and I'm pretty much hating every minute of it. Oh, I suppose it wouldn't be so bad, if I had a car (can't afford one) and could go for a drive once in a while--but I can't even afford bus fare to the next city south--only 30 or 35 miles away! So, that's not gonna' happen.

My last vacation (holiday) was more than two years ago--granted, it was a hell of a vacation--but I'm probably never going to go anywhere, ever again. My next vacation will likely be taken in a small box, if you know what I mean.

I can't complain--at least I've done some traveling in the past---overseas and a tiny little bit around the states, when I was much younger. So, I guess I'm lucky, in that respect.

But, that said, once you get a taste of travel, of the freedom of just getting in your car (or truck), sticking on some great tunes and just going...somewhere--anywhere....it's a hard hard thing, to have to give it up, to know you very likely will never have that freedom, that adventure, that joy of satisfying your curiosity, ever again. It's an empty feeling, inside, knowing that.

I wish to heaven I had a Tardis. Ah well, if wishes were real, I wouldn't be in this mess, ey?
whovian whovian
46-50, F
Mar 16, 2007