I Had It Once...

I had Heaven on Earth once. I met a young man named Alexis. He was the most wonderful person I'd ever met. I felt like I'd known him longer than I had been alive and yet there was always something new about him to me. I loved him and still love him. He was my everything. He was my best friend and lover. I thought God had finally given me someone to lean on. He was family. We wanted to get married.

Then one day he died of natural causes. I was the one who found him.

And then I had hell on Earth. I wanted to die to be with him. I don't know why I didn't kill myself. I'm glad I didn't. I miss him so much. It has been six years now since his death and life has gotten somewhat bearable.

I want Heaven on Earth again. I don't know what that looks like. I don't know if that means finding someone special again or finding a way to live my dream or changing the current state of my life or learning something new or what... but I had it and I want it back.
FlyingNinjas FlyingNinjas
26-30, F
Dec 15, 2012