Love

They say love comes unexpectedly. And my little story is one which is burning my heart. It's burning so much I feel its turned into ashes. That's why I can't look, think, date or ********** about other women, I get no pleasure. Im young, late teens. I first had a internet conversation with this girl back in 2010, in summer 2009 I had gone to Turkey(my home country), it was my first time since I came to Britain(9 yearss), that is why I was very drunk and happy my cousins wedding, I danced link no other, little did I know, in several months, I would meet the woman who I thought would be my wife. Anyhow, she contacted me through a social website saying if it was me, because I looked like someone she seen on the video tape. Apprantly the party was her cousins. Who is also my cousin, but the father of my cousin is my uncle, and his wife is her aunt. So we arent blood relate. She somehow found me, we started chatting little, she was the one who opened the convo everytime, I just didnt seem that interested in her at first, because I couldnt see her pictures. This convo kept going on and off for 2 years, until this last summer of 2012, when I went back to Turkey. This time, my cousins(other cousins) and I went to a holiday, lads weeks. Just when we thought we were coming back from the holiday, that girls sister got in touch with my cousin, it was simultaneous thing. My cousin is also the son of my mothers twin, so we share some similarities. I feel like he's like me, the very few good people on earth, trustworthy, loyal and million other positive attributes. This is why I can share everything with him, so thats why I made him have her sisters number. Anyway, we learned that they were going to a holiday destination 3 hours from us, so we decided to go.We weighed the options on going there, we finally decided to cab it, the taximometer, or whatever is called, totalled 950 lira, which is about 380 pounds, but we agreed beforehand, we'd pay 180 lira, about 70 pounds. We finally arrive. There stood the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, her hair darker than the deepest locations of the universe, her hazel eyes, shining like vibrant star, her smile, oh her smile, heartbraking smile. Her figure is also small but petite, in a goodway. But the only reason they could come because her cousin, the one with the party, who was small meaning that his parent came along... meaning my uncle was there! Anyway, first day was a bit awkward, little chat a lot of swimming etc. Second day was more intense, I started to chat more, but not with her, because I was too shy, I started chatting to her sister and her very close friend, who was also her cousin. (It was the three of them girls, and three of us boys, there were 2 mutual cousins, who were small and they were my uncles). I couldnt chat to her because I was very shy, if I said a wrong word or did something stupid I would of made my slef look stupid. Which is why I couldnt talk to her.Anyway, at about 10-10:30, we started swimming, playing football swimming game, we shared a lot of eye contact and smiles. After that, we went to the beach swam etc, came back. Towards the night, we all decided to go a shisha bar, the 6 of us. Surprisingly my uncle agreed. We went, I asked questioned she asked backed, it was nice, especially with the cool yet warm weather. We finally picked a shisha bar. All having fun etc. Then a boy witha basket of red roses came, one of my cousins bought for the girl, my other cousin didnt for the other girl. I wanted to buy it for her only, at first I did, but then saw the other girl was sad, so bought one for her too. (Later this became a bad thing-ill explain later). After couple of hours of going on about, we finally decided to go back. The next day same usual stuff, at about 2-3 we went to the beach, I chatted to her into giving me a back rub and massage, I did get one, and so did she, her sister also came along so I had to give her one too. Afterwards, toward late, we hatched a plan to sneak out and go party, we somehow did, she looked beautiful, I'd still prefered her wthout make-up, but anyway, my foot was sore from all the sea and sand and rocks, so most of the night I had to walk weirdly, she offered to assist. I couldnt say no. It was late, we wer walking towards the nearest bus stop, only to find there are 15 odd dogs all barking at us. All of us are scared to death, I too was ******** but not showing it, so I took her hand and started walking with a bad foot towards them.I was scared, but it was worth it to finally hold her hands. After wards, I made the dogs go away somehow. We finally got on the bus, towards town. We arrive go around and explore a bit and dance. We finally stay at this one, we started dancing altoher, and because there are 3 girls, people do what they came to do, start harassing them, I push them mostly, with my cousins watching like idiots. At one point, she decided to invite one idiot who wanted to dance with her, I told him to go, he went, the same thing hapened again.And one more time, this is when I flipped, I said a sentence which I've regretted so much over time, I said ' do you give it to anyone you see?', it was the worst thing ever, I was so angry, I just blurted it out without thinking. After that, we had a little row. But because it was out last night, they decided to stay and dance, the atmosphere and mood was poor. Although, I did not look at her after, I knew she was staring at me every single moment, after wards, I did look at her once, but she looked away. No facial expression, just looking. We basically didnt talk after that. Next Day we all went back, I got off at my stop and didnt say bye neither did she. It was poor ending to an amost magical time. Anyway, a month later, it was her birthday(october), I messaged her through facebook wishing her happy birthyday, then I said stupid things, which kind of tread back to what happened. Although I didnt express my feelings whilst at holiday, I kind of did through this website out of anger again, (no i dont have anger issues), she said to me, we're not on the same head level you're more of my sisters head type, and she got cross with the red rose incident, she said she thought I was better than what she thought. My last words to her was, its not where they eye looks, its where the heart looks. Then she ended with I dont care anylonger (smiley face) bye. Afterwards, I did not reply, until the other day, saying can we talk, she hasnt replied back. So I wrote to her sister, and I asked for a favour she said yes, then I stupidly said nevermind its not important, then when I looked at the girl I fell for, she blocked me totally. Couple of hours ago, I said to her sister, I need to see her(the girl I fell for), can you please tell her. And half an hour later, I noticed she has looked at it as there is a tick and its said its been read, meaning she knows about it, she usually writes back withing an hour, its been nearly 7 hours. I know Its a short time, but I cant wait. I go to bed at about 9:30 ish, but sleep 1-2ish, for the past month, all I do is think about her. Shall I pursue her or not?
etek etek
18-21
Dec 6, 2012