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A Love Story!

I met the girl I fell in love with when I was 25.  I say girl, she was a woman of 41.  I met her while out with my friends.  I was  slightly drunk (one too many Jack Daniels).  I was dancing like I usually do when I'm out when I suddenly I felt arms around my waist.  I turned around and was met face to face with her.  I could tell that she was slightly tipsy herself.  I remember thinking she wasn't the prettiest girl there, then I instantly scolded myself for judging by looks, she was every cute though.  We started to dance and before I knew it we were kissing.  A drunk kiss but still one I remember today, we had stopped dancing at this point and were just in the middle of the dance floor kissing.  We continue dancing for the rest of the night and I only had eyes for her, when that evening was over we exchanged phone numbers but I had no intention of calling her, this was a one night thing, kissing, great but nothing more.  I honestly thought she felt the same way, but imagine my surprise when the next day I received a call from her asking to meet me.  I admit I was a little taken aback by her forwardness but we had a nice chat on the phone and I agreed to meet her at a bar.   As far as first dates go it was my best, we clicked instantly, she made me laugh I did the the same, we talked about everything and then she asked me how old I was.  I told her 25 and her whole demenour changed, she soon made her excuses and left and I thought, wtf!!  I tried to call her that night but couldn't get an answer.  I had met an amazing woman and as soon as she was there, she was gone.  I left her messages asking her to call me for days, asking her why she didn't want to talk to me.  I had given up hope of seeing her again when a few days later I was out again at the same bar where we had our first 'date' I was having a drink when I noticed her across the room, I remember my heart was going twice as quick as I raced across the room to find her.  When I caught up with her i just tapped her on the shoulder and when she turned around all she could do was smile at me,  I took her aside and asked her why she hadn't returned any of my calls or texts the last week. I think id caught her off guard as she seemed to melt, she said she was embarrassed to say, but she thought she was too old for me.  I knew she was older than me and I didn't care, I had been brought up to believe that age shouldn't be a factor in a relationship.  I told her I didn't care and that I enjoyed her company and would love to see her again.  I could tell she was still a little apprehensive, so I asked her to dance and that was the start of another great night.  That was the start of us, we were great together, we had interests in common, and when we eventually had sex, it was amazing.  We were lucky because we lived and worked close to each other.  We saw each other whenever we could, each time we were together we learned new things about each other, a weird thing was that we never argued, we were totally comfortable with each other.  Of course every relationship has its strains and ours was our age difference, which I had to always convince her was not an issue.  My parents liked her, my friends liked her, her friends liked me.  I didn't see any problems, but she kept bringing it up, subtle at first in general conversation, laughing it off but as time went by i could see it was becoming more of an issue with her. By this stage  I was totally in love.  I had been in relationships before but had never, ever felt this way before.  I found out soon after that this issue was not going away.  I would have done anything to make her feel better on the issue, but either it was a real issue for her or she was looking for a way out and our age difference was a decent excuse for her.  One day we went out and I knew by her body language that this night was our last.  It was exactly like I thought, she didn't want to string me along anymore were her words.  She thought I could find someone better.  I told her I loved her, I could see myself with her for the rest our my life.  Maybe it was my own immaturity that led me to fall in love so quickly (i don't think 8 months is too quick).  Maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic, but I was absolutely devestated.  She had pursued me initially and as soon as she learned my age she distanced herself, i should have seen this as a sign but I foolishly let myself fall in love with her and what's more is she knew how I felt all the way through our relationship and let it continue as long as it did.   I always thought, should I be mad that she let it get this far, or should i be grateful for our relationship.  All I know is I want that love again.
shadoweyes shadoweyes 26-30, M 12 Responses May 29, 2010

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At 41 she may have been looking for a man with more security or perhaps she was afraid that although your present relationship was fantastic, there would be no future....she would always be 16 years older than you and although it was no issue at that moment in the future it would be and by then she may have been afraid she would not attract another man.

Mine was the opposite; older guy of 44 and younger woman of 22. I did not know what about me she found attractive but over the course of six months, she came to believe I was her soul mate. I fell deeply in love with her and still am. This was the most incredible, loving relationship I have ever had and I miss it every day.

I think most women cant figure out why a younger man would be interested in her and therefore dont trust that it may be real. But if it is go for it, love is too hard to find to waste it.

I felt love like that once. I was 38. She was 26. She did most of the pursuing. I wasn't interested at first because I thought she was just too young and shallow. After a few dates, I was intrigued. She turned out to be really smart...University graduate. Time went on, a few more dates, and when we finally made love...it was a spiritual experience. We shared 8 months of heavenly bliss. I called her my soul mate. I never ever felt this intense love like this before. I assumed she felt the same. Then one day, she said she was going off to another city, far away to pursue another degree. A long distance love affair was not something I wanted to do, or could even bare to do. I broke off the relationship. I felt betrayed. I tumbled into the lowest abyss I didn't even know existed. I became a zombie. I would wake up every day and X off another day on the calendar. It was painful just to be alive. Four months later, I met a wonderful woman, on my birthday. A friend of mine brought her to my place. We hit it off. She was only 2 years younger than me. She made my heart smile again. She fell in love with me. I only liked her a lot. She made me happy even though I wasn't in love. She moved in with me and we eventually married. It's been 17 years now. I still think about my soul mate. I still wish I could fall in love like I did with my soul mate. I wish it could be with my wife. But that isn't happening. Life is good. Our life together is OK. Nothing spectacular. It's better than being alone. She's easy to get along with. She's crazy about me. Shows me off to everybody. Her girlfriends tell her she's lucky. We share everything together. I have never cheated on her. Probably never will. I sure do miss being in love. I suppose for me, it was just a once in a lifetime thing. Or perhaps, that kind of love just doesn't really exist in the real world. Maybe what I have is real. Whatever the answer, I'm glad to have had the privilege of experiencing at least once in my life, the most intense, incredible, amazing, intoxicating, love experience of a lifetime.

Hi Crispycotton,<br />
Things are great at the moment. Haven't find the perfect match yet, and probably never will but, im enjoying life and not putting too much emphasis on finding love.

You might not see it but your story is beautiful. To have someone in your life to feel that way about is so wonderful. I used to be in that crazy only in the movies love.It was so intense and i loved almost every minute of it. It ended and even though i am in more pain than i can explain i know i want to feel that way again. My guy is out there and i dont care how old i get i'm waiting for him as long as it takes. I know you wrote this a while ago but i hope that you are ok now and i hope that you find her, your perfect match. =)

Hi shadow,<br />
Coming from the other side of this kind of relationship, I truly feel your pain and send a big hug. My husband was 24 when we met, and I was 40. He pursued me, I wasn't sure but fell deeply in love for the first time ever, letting my guard down. Now after being married to him, planning a life, having a beautiful home... currently I'm living in a one bedroom apt trying to survive... It's been a year and a half since he started cheating on me when he went back to school, and finally I was able to kick him out a year ago, now he has a 20 year old gf. He left me to deal with everything alone, the house, everything in it, just took his toys and left. I have been numb and just sit most days. I am so sorry for your loss. Now that it's spring, try to go see some of the beauty out there. It can help.

time is the best healer when we experience heart aches..don't lose hope..if u two are really destined to each other...in time, no matter what u will be together again but right now...enjoy life^_^....i really love ur stories....thanx for sharing it.

Thank you all for the comments, its been 3 years since we broke up and I still think about her everyday, Its stopped me getting close with anyone else because I'm always thinking about her. I know I need some sort of closure, but I'm afraid to contact her, I recently found out she's seeing someone else now. I want to move on myself, but Im stuck.

Something very similar happened to me many years ago. All I can say is, for me, the pain eventually faded with the passing of the years. I still think of her sometimes and wonder what she's doing, if she's well and happy.

Yeah...once we experience being in love we just can't do without it anymore....love gives a meaning to our otherwise boring existence....<br />
You would fall in love again...life would be great then:).....Just a little patience for the time being.<br />
Oh by the way you were never a fool to fall in love with her...cherish the experience in your heart !

From a woman point of view who fall in love with a much younger man too, I know it's hard to accept myself to be with a much younger man. Even though I am in love so deeply...nobody can tell what will happen in the future. If later on you found that what you have now was just an innocent attachment to this woman, not a true love. She will then be the one who got the blame on. She just doesn't want to be selfish. I believe if any couple meant to be together, there will never be anything stop it to happen. Best of luck to you.