Sometimes I Just... Imagine... 5/16/09

Sometimes I just imagine... to have that perfect someone, who understands me, who loves me for who I am and vice versa... together, and afterward, we shall never be alone.

But how much of it is actually realistic? I have never even gotten close to a girl in all 20 years, what knowledge do I have in the market that people call relationship? I feel petty, and silly, to sometimes just become attracted to some people whom I saw, without any basis on their interests or personalities. I feel pathetic, and condemned, when I realize how there is always an extra bit of feeling when I see available females. I feel sick, and tired, when I realized how I systematically tried to show off my intelligence and my success (the only thing that I have lots of), in an attempt to attract others.

I feel desperate, but I do not want to be desperate. I want love, but I do not want to have that goal always in the back of my head. Even if I do find love, how much of it will be comparable to my expectations? how much would I get disappointed? and how much, if any, of my loneliness will be healed? Despite how much I wish to neglect my drive, despite how successful my life actually is, despite how I may be overwhelmed by work or other emotions... why does this feeling always haunt me? why am I always reminded--that I want love?

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15 Responses May 16, 2009

Love.. is a risk. You have to be completely willing to give your heart up.. It is not going to be easy and not alwasy fun but the rewards could be incredible. Don't get down on yourself. You find love when you least expect it. Go places you wouldn't normally go. Do things you wouldn't normally do. Go outside your comfort zone and soon you meet people. Make friends. Finding a relationship is all about networking the more people you know the better chance you have to meet that one girl that just is incredible. I wish you the best of luck with your life. Don't worry too much... love can happen at anytime if your heart is open.

It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who worries about falling in love. This is beautifully expressed and I feel the exact same way. I don't have much experience myself but when you're surrounded by dozens of people who do, it's makes you feel even more inadequate. Thank you for sharing with us.

Who likes to make love

differnt people have differnnt expercinces in thier lives so go with the person who you feel right for you and most important understand you who you are

I am not sure anyone can truly understand another. It seems as though it's part of the human experience to try and get as close as possible.

@ Classy<br />
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There are tons of women who don't feel a thing. Stop being sexist.

I fell in love with a woman, and then she left. Find someone who shares your values. Stay away from women who come from divorced families (I know this is reductionistic, but it's still a good general rule). Church girls are nicer, if you go to the right church. Do not have sex with somone you are not committed to. Heartbreak will leave you worse off than before. Moral conceptions of love just make more sense.<br />
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By the way, none of us really want to "fall in love". We want to "fall in love" with the right person, under the right circumstances. I noticed that you separated love and lust in your post and even expressed shame at giving so much priority to lust. Good idea. Also, stay away from women who seem attractive because they are overly confident. These women are manipulative.

I am a woman and feel the same way. EXACTLY the same way. It's just hard.

Hi im male 35, married, lonely. I guess with experience, u can avoid things others been through. Guess with a couple of emails to me, we can both work out this problem, and u and i can go happy. I am confident coz ive helped others.

I know the feeling. My girlfriend finished me a few days after she found out i was paralyzed. She couldnt bare it. That was 3 years ago. i havnt found love since

For one, dont put expectations onto someone, expectations are just future resentments. I feel I am getting too late to finding love. I have never married, and my heart has been so hurt I may never beable to fully trust another man, but then again, i would rather have loved and lost, rather than to have never loved at all. If we dont take chances, we will never know the outcome!

Fall in love and you'll regret it.

So well put. I want love too. Or maybe it's that I want to be "in love" no what I really want is for someone to be "in love" with me. And it would be great if it could happen soon.

So you really do have feelings? YOU CAN FEEL THINGS?<br />
I'm impressed and agree with naomi......can't just turn it off either. Wish I could. Glad that a guy can be a man and still have feelings and express them appropriately w/o going off the deep end.<br />
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I know how you feel. It's often impossible to just turn it off. Like you, sometimes I really I wish that I could