I Want to Find a Job I Like
.. but who can say what is right or wrong? I spend my life trying to be the perfect
child. My parents were never happy with me, no matter how hard i worked in my life.
I spend most of my time in working or learing, never having time for fun or for a real
Relationsship. And now I am 23 and asking my self, was it the right desicion to go
through this? Maybe it has turn out better if i had not listen to my Dad who didn´t
care about me. He left me behind wiithout a word as i was 15, and didn´t talked to
me for over 2 years. Not a single call, i was lying in the hospital because of an accident
and he didn´t call me back as he heard about it? And then after the two years, he showed
up and want to be a part of my life again and i was so stupid to believe that he has
changed his self. But he didn´t, he is still the same. Not willing to work or reach anything,
just yelling and telling me i am stupid because i haven´t reach anything yet. And the
worse thing is, i can´t kick him out of my life.
Maybe it´s not right to say those things, but i believe that i deserve more than that.
I have been trough a lot of things in my life, and if I thing back to the past, i have to
admit that the happiest Time in my life was, the time without my father. My Mother
was always smiling and now she can´t handle his words.
And besides all this, school stuff is killing me because it´s to much. I had a
fulltime job, and a part time job + school and my parents are still not happy.
I really don´t no what to do anymore, i just feel i don´t want to wake up.
And plus all those thinks i though i actally found someone who cares about me,
and he ask me for a date, more the one time and no? He didn´t call back,
i am mean, why someone do that? Just asking so often and then leave the
person behind like nothing happend?
I feel really depressed at the moment because I thought this time i am going
to reach more in my life, to reach the perfect job that i do not hate. I see nothing will
change in my life... i am always getting the wrong job, don´t know how hard i will work.
child. My parents were never happy with me, no matter how hard i worked in my life.
I spend most of my time in working or learing, never having time for fun or for a real
Relationsship. And now I am 23 and asking my self, was it the right desicion to go
through this? Maybe it has turn out better if i had not listen to my Dad who didn´t
care about me. He left me behind wiithout a word as i was 15, and didn´t talked to
me for over 2 years. Not a single call, i was lying in the hospital because of an accident
and he didn´t call me back as he heard about it? And then after the two years, he showed
up and want to be a part of my life again and i was so stupid to believe that he has
changed his self. But he didn´t, he is still the same. Not willing to work or reach anything,
just yelling and telling me i am stupid because i haven´t reach anything yet. And the
worse thing is, i can´t kick him out of my life.
Maybe it´s not right to say those things, but i believe that i deserve more than that.
I have been trough a lot of things in my life, and if I thing back to the past, i have to
admit that the happiest Time in my life was, the time without my father. My Mother
was always smiling and now she can´t handle his words.
And besides all this, school stuff is killing me because it´s to much. I had a
fulltime job, and a part time job + school and my parents are still not happy.
I really don´t no what to do anymore, i just feel i don´t want to wake up.
And plus all those thinks i though i actally found someone who cares about me,
and he ask me for a date, more the one time and no? He didn´t call back,
i am mean, why someone do that? Just asking so often and then leave the
person behind like nothing happend?
I feel really depressed at the moment because I thought this time i am going
to reach more in my life, to reach the perfect job that i do not hate. I see nothing will
change in my life... i am always getting the wrong job, don´t know how hard i will work.
By:
Honey2k
Age:
22-25
,
Female
