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I Want to Find My Soulmate

How I Met My Husband

By: Cute30sMom
Written on January 9th, 2013
Age: 31-35 , Female
567 people have read this story

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38 responses
  • CompassionateMaster

    C'est la vie! But I see you got him in the end... So it is Kurt? Is he German by ansestry? It sounds like it :-) But he got a great wife! You can read my story "How I met your Mother". And you'll find me meeting my wife probably equally interesting.

    Apr 22
    1 like
  • Lacerda

    Hi.
    I really enjoyed reading this story. Utterly believable, much more so than some if the tripe I read on here raunchy but not overly so, and some of the imagery and metaphors you use are very original. I think you could possibly make a living out of writing erotic stories. You made me want to go home to my own, planner, assistant, cook, launderer, lawyer, friend, mother of my child, harlot of my dreams, my wife and let her know that I am glad that it was me that she chose that lovely warm summers evening all those years ago over all the other eligible bachelors who gathered around her like moths round a flame, but against all odds she chose me the least eligible of them all, me the awkward, shy and (then) unemployed and aimless "kid" ten years her junior.

    Mar 21
    1 like
  • kr240z

    Incredibly descriptive account of a very sensual experience. I wish you the best in your relationship

    Feb 5
    2 likes
  • snakedoctor1

    That was absolutely beautifully written. Wow. You learned more than fashion! Holy cow. Damn!

    Jan 31
    2 likes
  • cosmiccowboy

    I'm sorry but I don't see being manipulate and feeling the need to manipulate people as a good thing! When you gain something with a lie what have you really gained...a lie and nothing else! I know sometimes people are put into situations where they feel the need but doesn't seem a good way to live.

    Jan 30
    1 like
    • LapiudolceTS

      I say what person, a man - a woman, does not manipulate a relationship for love? Men exaggerate the check book, present the well dressed and groomed life while hiding a slob, drive the Maserati with payments unable to afford...everyone manipulates in some way. This girl only is honest which everyone here should try more of. If we removed all of the lies, manipulations and fantasy from this site, there would be 25 stories and 16 profiles remaining and this one would be one of 25. I say bravo magnifico!

      Jan 31
      1 like
    • cosmiccowboy

      This site maybe...but it doesn't mean a long term relationship should be based on lies...it is not a good way to start or maintain something that want to grow and have for the rest of your life...it is not a way to treat your "soulmate." Relationships are about communication...a damn difficult thing to accomplish even when your as honest as you can be but if all you are doing is attempting to manipulate then you communication consists of trying to keep your lies straight. Not a way I want to live.

      Jan 31
      1 like
    • Cute30sMom

      Well, you're right of course. Lying and manipulating are wrong on every level. That said, no one here would ever believe that you or your significant other never used manipulation as a tactic, especially in the beginning, as a subtle unspoken lie used to present a certain side of yourself or life which would cause the other to be more convinced of the value of a relationship with you. It happens every day and you've done it, your wife has done it and you're a liar and a hypocrite if you say otherwise. Your wife probably though you would always stay in shape and had no idea you wouldn't be capable of picking up after yourself of simply matching a pair of socks or shirt to your outfit when she married you but now she's probably overwhelmed with the business of picking up after you and trying her best to keep you looking intelligent, relevant, in shape and coordinated to your colleagues. You probably thought she was a lot dumber and loved giving head. Now she never wants sex and catches you in every embellishment of how your boss couldn't function without you.
      So, get real. No one is buying your judgemental rantings. LapiudolceTS couldn't have been more right. Everyone does it and mostly for the right reasons. We love someone, feel insecure and vulnerable about the prospect of losing them, and create the illusion of a more equally yoked and wonderful partner/lover with the tools we are given. Some with better tools than others. Girls have been getting rich guys and ugly guys have been getting hot girls by manipulation since the beginning of time.

      Jan 31
      1 like
    • cosmiccowboy

      Go ahead and convince yourself that you are justified in your actions...I never said I was perfect but I try to be true to what I believe so that when I look in the mirror I'm as happy as I can be, considering my many faults, with the guy I see there. Also I pick up my own things, learned to dress myself long ago and, yes, my wife, who is a very smart and educated women (even though she did marry me) and I still have a great sex life for people in their 60's!! LOL Obviously when we start a relationship we what to put our best foot forward but that is not lying that is just accenting the positives...this not does mean there are no negatives. I just think...how do you know the person you love is in love with you are the person that you are pretending to be. Sorry if I seem judgmental since I know I'm a real sinner...but this seems so calculating and little to do with loving someone. I also totally believe that none of us appreciate each other the way we should and that is sad! I'm glad that you got what you wanted but at what cost to you. It seems you looking for solutions now and I praise that! Sorry I am not trying to be mean or cruel, I just personalized your story and this was how it would make me feel about myself. Sorry again!

      Jan 31
      1 like
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  • englishindia123

    Your story is interesting. I wish good marriage for you.
    But sleeping with two or more men (black) is sickening even after you got a good boyfriend whom you said you really love.
    Well, of course some people might think there is nothing to be ashamed of.
    I was wondering whether you continue sleeping with other men (like black) even now.
    I didnt mean to offend you or any white american girl.
    These things are totally opposite to Indian people, who believe "one girl one boy for life - including sex"
    But I am believe nothing is wrong unless you hurt someone..
    I am just curious to know about your current extramarital affairs :P

    Jan 30
    1 like
    • angel1485

      i see you haven't run into any of the many indian people here who are looking for 'extra' things in their sex lives...lol

      Jan 30
      1 like
    • englishindia123

      You are right. But the people you meant represent 1% of Billions and they are mostly Indian Americans or Americanized.
      I should have said that "one girl one boy for life - including sex" is for those who were born and raised in India. 99% true for South Indians (25% of India pop).
      It got many pros and cons.

      Jan 30
      1 like
    • Cute30sMom

      I'm not offended. You have your opinion and I'm happy you chose to share it with me. The funny thing about life is that if you never express your opinions or feelings openly, everyone loves you. But once you take a side, say what you really feel, etc., you are always going to lose half of your fans. Its just the law of averages doing what it does. If I express an opinion, any opinion, I open myself up for people to disagree and half of people usually will.

      Personally, I have never saw a difference (good/bad, acceptable/unacceptable) between whites, blacks, Indians, Asians or Hispanics with regard to relationships. I realize that some cultures, All Religeons and some individuals do hold such behavior as I have thus indulged as crossing a line of morality. And from a purly moral position, cheating is wrong and sex outside of marriage is wrong. I have also had sex with Indian men so I can only assume that not all Indian men follow or necessarily subscribe to all of the tenants of your faith, beliefs or your cultural norms.

      I've done many things that I am ashamed of and adultery is one of the many. However, having a relationship with black men is not one of them. I honestly believe that people who find such a thing offensive, purely from an ideological perspective, are ignorant. I won't use the word racist because I believe it is overused, taken out of context most of the time and mostly because ignorance just seems to encompass the broader scope of where racism is derived anyway.

      My personal ideologies aside, I actually do believe that wrong is wrong regardless if I have hurt someone or not. I have committed adultery many times and every time I've done it, I cry about it because I know I have done something terrible. I can make excuses and tell you that my husband is a serial cheater too but the reality is that I have to take personal responsibility for my own sins.

      We are all imperfect creatures trying to live our lives as best we can, despite a plethora of enticements and our own inner desires and demons compelling us to be selfish ****** of the flesh and of wine and of gluttony. That said, we all sin, we just find sins that we somehow are able to justify over other sinners sins.

      Thank you for you kind words of encouragement! I too hope that my marriage can survive all of what has been thrown at us. It's been a wild ride so far and I'm still hanging on.

      Jan 30
      1 like
    • englishindia123

      I totally agree with your first paragraph. It was well written.
      I also confess that I am quite racist (or ignorant) but not in friendship or love. I will never think it is wrong for Indian or White to have black bf/gf if you really love somebody. What I find offensive is that if some white (or Indian) girl who prefers Black man the most to have just sex. In your story, you said you had two black men to take you to your another planet. So I wrote about this with some misunderstanding.

      People think differently according to the place and culture they are brought up with. I love my girlfriend for almost 2 years but I will try to maintain it platonic until marriage. So do 90% of Indians (predominantly south) who were raised in their country. You said one Indian boy slept with you. Of course. there are exceptions (he could be American) but still few.
      Those virgins do have sexual desires but control themselves because of outdated culture (not Muslims or Catholics). I am one of them. However, I do believe that this kind of life style helps to have strong marriage life. I could be ignorant in this matter.

      I appreciate that you too have confessed about morally wrong things. In my opinion, what you have done (things you call morally wrong or sin) will diminish into nothing at anytime you stop adultery because from that time on what matters is how you love your husband and your son.

      Jan 30
      1 like
    • angel1485

      i don't have any numbers...just going by some of the people here on EP who say they are native to india, still live there, and...basically...not wanting to live the traditional lives of people in the country. you are probably right, but you know, even here in america there are a whole lot of people who are very traditional in this and all other things. the point is, i just find it silly to lump everyone in some group or other.

      Jan 30
      1 like
    • LapiudolceTS

      As a professionale in the sex industry in Italia, I am quite confident that many cultures would find some very common sexual rituals of the Indian culture to be offensive too, no?! You profess the Indian culture to be above all others with its sexual piety but is it true? Let us examine for instance the common practice of introducing Indian children to their first sexual experience by their parents. Especially as a Southern indian, you know I am correct and that ****** among indians is not just extraordinarily high due to its cultural origins but also overwhelmingly accepted. I have had sex with many, many indian men who live in India. What you are saying comes from naivety and inexperience. I am a transessuale prostitute, you think it is accepted in your culture to pay for sex with me?

      We can all throw the stones at each other but what is the point of disagreement on this story? She wrote a wonderful life story including the good and the ugly. Is this not real life! Is everyone living perfect lives? If so, I would be poor instead of rich. I beg my country to let me pay taxes and be legitimate but they refuse it because it is the home of our Papa, eh uh Pope, sorry.

      At the bottom line, we all have our weakness. What I say is your weakness? Maybe you share something instead of preaching and elevating yourself above everyone. I always say, when you really begin to take yourself so serious and believe you are the vessel of wisdom for the masses, that is when the masses begin to stop taking you serious and find another source of wisdom! You should think on this, no?

      Jan 31
      1 like
    • Cute30sMom

      I'm definitely going to steal that last line! You are an incredible source of common sense. Oh, wait, if I admit stealing your line, does that open me up to more criticism? I mean, WTF? Where is the etiquette of just respecting a persons right to relay personal thoughts and reflections without feeling a necessity to express an opposing opinion. Does anyone really believe that I would be ignorant of what is appropriate or innapropriate by social standards? If a peron is offended by what I've done, just find someone with whom you agree on everything so you're not forced to feel uncomfortable by learning about someone different or who may have alternate views. If "groupthink" is your thing, then go be someone else's carbon paper and leave me the hell alone. Does anyone here really think I'm so ignorant that I really need their support to survive? It would never cross my mind to seek out stories I disagree with and even waste my time to read them much less desecrate them by spewing my own alternate views all over them.

      Jan 31
      1 like
    • englishindia123

      Of course she wrote a wonderful story. I just tried to compare two different cultures without the intention of putting mine on the top. Let me make my earlier point more clear, which is "90% of south Indians are unable to have sex (even if they got lover) until marriage. And most of them are forced to stick to just one partner cuz of lifestyle". I also added, this is outdated culture, which means I myself criticize it. Many educated south Indians including me are fed up with that, and find it hard to pent-up sex desires due to numerous reasons. Most important reason is believe it or not, Indian girls are not supportive to break the taboo. Once we leave India, thirsty for sex will go up and many will seek a foreign-born girl to quench it. It seems some of them came to you :D

      I am not Naive about what is happening around me for 20+ years.
      Let me stop my repeating arguments right here.

      I am wondering how come sex minister Silvio Berlusconi failed to look into sex related tax problems :P
      Interesting fact: There is one Italian ***** supreme leader Sonia Gandhi looting whole India. Do Italians know about her?

      @Cute30sMom, I think American girls like you would probably think guys like me still live in 19th century..lol

      Jan 31
      1 like
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  • Maxnoir

    I'd like to thank angel for her comments as well. And thank you cute mom for your thoughtful story about the trials and tribulations of a relationship in 2013. This is different than when your grandparents or great grant parents grew up in a little village outside of Naples... fewer distractions, more hard work, no internet, families that actually live together. I'm not trying to romanticize the times.. I'm sure there was lots of play that went on... but it was a smaller world. For me, I've been married before, now married for 10 years.. and I love my partner, don't like it when I can't come home and skype with her. Sounds crazy but we spend as much time in other countries as we spend together, and that's been tough to sustain a relationship. And there have been temptations during lonely times for me... I'm not sure about for her. She gets super jealous if she even sniffs another woman around, and I get it... I don't as long as I don't know about it! LOL. So we're different that way. I don't know what it is, but your story seems to have our minds wandering and elicits these rambling mind f**Ks.

    Anyways... don't give away what you have too easily (although sometimes it's the right thing to do.) Wishing you all the best... for we all deserve that!

    max

    Jan 30
    3 likes
  • angel1485

    this is most well-written and interesting story i've seen in a long time. thank you!! that alone makes it more than worthwhile to read. i have no experience with so much of what you've told here, but i do relate to the idea of being a good wife and being all that i should be there...with the exception, of course, of my cheating, which is simply what i love doing. all that said, i do want to encourage you to realize that much of what we all do for family and loved ones comes in the end to be routine and 'taken for granted', all that sort of thing, but that that is really good for all of us. after all, what is love if not expectant along with being giving? we don't owe our mates in the way we do our creditors or others. we do owe them the peace of knowing we're there, that we do love them. it's so often not something that brings out the parades and brass bands, for sure, but i find that knowing my hubby...as busy as he is...is coming home, too, just as i am.

    i don't know if this really says anything. i do know that a large part of being in love is simply relaxing with it, and that means a lot of what you have described.

    Jan 29
    3 likes
    • Cute30sMom

      What a sweet letter to me! No nice to know people are reading and caring. Sweet girl.

      Jan 29
      1 like
  • Gopatsgo

    Good gosh, very good read!

    Jan 25
    3 likes
  • Monte11

    Love your stories. My wife, Belinda, is 40 and from the southern Philippines. She has an older sister, Mila, who is married to an Italian gentleman and they live in northern Italy, somewhat near Milan. I am semi-retired from a state job with humble finances but I have managed to provide Belinda with a handful of Gucci and LV purses. Sounds like your dad worked at Oak Ridge, I had an uncle who did also back in the 60s and early 70s. My parents are both 89 now, and my mother was raised near Lake Cumberland in south central KY, very near to Tennessee. So I also have a very mixed culture. I also have a niece married to a Korean professional in Chicago. Believe me, your stay-at-home activities (like my Belinda's) are very much appreciated.

    Jan 20
    3 likes
  • Baghera69

    You spent lost of time and frustation to get this man. Now you seem that have lost your interes in your victory. You are a very cleaver woman and know exactly what to do. The story is amaizing

    Jan 11
    3 likes
    • Cute30sMom

      Havn't lost interest in him, just trying to find the inspiration to remember how awesome I thought he once was. I'm getting there, writing about him is actually helping.

      Jan 11
      1 like
  • isinlarsa

    LOL! I love the number you did on him. -- making him work and wait to nail you while all the while getting ****** by other men. You are a wicked lady. Of course, it wasn't me that you were doing that to. (Actually, I might get turned on if my wife later told me she had done that to me.)

    Jan 9
    3 likes
    • Cute30sMom

      Hmmm, could heat things up if I told him ya think? Not! Lol

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • ImmortalCho

      lmfao ohhhhhh no save that for if you ever divorvce :P

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • isinlarsa

      You know him, and I don't. But if he could overcome having to project a macho image, he might find it erotic to have such a hot wife.

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • Cute30sMom

      LOL! If it comes down to it, I could just let him "accidently" catch me. I think that would do it. But probably be unsafe for both of us.

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • isinlarsa

      Hope he doesn't own a gun. Men could be having a lot more fun if they realized what sexual beings their wives are.

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • Cute30sMom

      Yea, he's got the gun thing down pat. An avid hunter and sportsman when not working. Guess I should pass on the getting caught idea. I can't really just go all out wild and move in with the black yard guy or anything cause I have to set an example for my impressionable son. But I would love for my son to learn to love all races of people and set a good example for him. I of course plant those seeds all the time but my husband is different which is appalling to me sometimes.

      Jan 9
      1 like
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  • ImmortalCho

    You worked so hard to be with this man maybe you should remind him what he is missing out on hun :P

    Jan 9
    2 likes
    • Cute30sMom

      I do as often as he is willing. He's just real distant right now. I'm sure he's getting some strange which keeps his mind in far away places. Just real complicated. I love him and I know he loves me too but he's taking me for granted and having his cake at home and eating more on the road. That makes me sample a few recipes myself which causes us both to drift apart. I want that hot guy again at home bu I'm forced to seek it with other guys cause he ain't puttin out.

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • ImmortalCho

      I have been there before I have been married twice and believe me I know what position your in right now. You do what you have to too make the marriage work the problem is that if he is already so distant and so are you the further you drift your not going to want to walk back all that way....you know??

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • Cute30sMom

      True

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • ImmortalCho

      And I know you love each other, hell my first husband and I still love each other too but doesn't mean we should've ever stayed together and caused that damage to each other's heart's if we did we would have walked away alot sooner.

      Jan 9
      1 like
    • Cute30sMom

      That's so true.

      Jan 9
      1 like
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