I believed that love was found. I believed that this was real. I left my previous life behind and looked to moving forward with my life as I am not as I was. I found love and love knocked me down and knocked me farther back that I could have imagined. However, I am still reaching and striving to achieve my goals. I had a woman that I believed was my soulmate and I believe she really was by our initial meet and interaction. It has been a year now and now she can't even stand me. I love her so much but she can't see anything good in me. I wasn't violent or anything. We argued from time to time. But I gave my forgiveness. I had to allow God to work on me while I waited on her. I don't want to say I stood by the well waiting for nothing, however, the way it looks and seems like that's all. I gave a part of my life to her that I know I won't get back. She took it and wouldn't give it back. Sometimes, the devil dresses up as an angel only to steal, kill, and destroy everything worked for. No matter how I feel, my sadness and longing for her won't bring her to the understanding of how much I feel for the woman. If my soul mate is here, I pray she make herself seen. The work I have put in just is much more than asking for forgiveness of my past and my past actions. If its root work, spellbinding, witchcraft, or seduction, I need to have it removed. I love the life I own and thank God for it and give Him the glory for allowing me to journey in it. It gets lonely when I have no one to hold and call my own. My wife. My lover. My best friend. My everything...
jpllc jpllc
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 15, 2014

I hope you can recognize that it's not your fault. Sometimes, no matter what you do or how hard you try, people push away from you.
It could be because they don't love and respect themselves enough to allow you to love and respect them.
It may seem as though I'm talking out of my butt, but I'm going through a similar situation right now with my husband.

When we met, he was happy and funny and loving. Now, the person I met is no longer. He is angry, racist, hurtful and insensitive. I know in my heart and soul it has nothing to do with me, but of course it hurts to know that this could be the end. He is my best friend as well, I know exactly how you feel. I've never been so open and honest with anyone in my entire life.

Sometimes, whatever forces may it be, create different life options for us. Sometimes our relationships were meant to be experiences to learn more about ourselves and possibly create paths towards a better future that are invisible to us until we accept our fate.

Maintain your faith, and know that you are here for a reason. You are an important person, and you should learn to feel important to yourself.

I hope you find peace soon with things, no matter what the resolution :)

Thanks so much. We've only been a year in the pocket on and off. She had a husband she lost before we started growing to know each other and then three months, unexpected. I just got a part-time job and continuing to work on my doctoral degree. She has two kids. I don't know. You have a point. Just have to look at the lifetime of my life and continue to stay focused. Finish school and get my business started. It will be a long lonely road but peace will be. Tranquility will set. thanks!