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A Romantic Relationship With Your Twin Flame Is Often Difficult

It is very difficult to have a romantic relationship with your twin flame until you have cleared all of your Karma, relinquished your ego, and you have reached your last soul incarnation, and are ready to become one again.  We often have to live many lives, and deal with many soul mates who help us learn our life lessons, before we are ready to unite with our twin flame.  Until then you still have many lessons to learn, and while you are still learning those lessons uniting with your twin flame in a romantic relationship is very difficult because you are one and the same and having a romantic relationship with yourself exposes your faults and flaws that still need work.

When twin flames run, they are really running from THEMSELVES. They are us, we are them, and the connection highlights the parts of us that need working on and "fixing" in order to become our true selves again (united as one). This is MAJOR and very scary. We all have "faults" (lessons to learn) and it is painful to think about our percieved weaknesses. 

And this is what the twin flame makes us face up to. We see those "faults" in ourselves clearer than ever before. This scares us MORE THAN ANYTHING. We experience this wonderful person and it highlights to us all our "faults". We are one, so we reflect each other and attract in to each other the very things we need to heal. The pain always comes before the healing though. With the twin flame's presence (in soul and in physical) we finally have to face up to those things, and quite often we don't want to (this is subconsciously), or aren't ready. The very things about ourselves we have tried to distract ourselves from because we have been so ashamed are finally out in the open, seen completely by ourselves for the first times, and also seen by our twin flame. Often they are exaggerated.  Many times we feel both their emotional pain and their physical pain or discomfort that results from illness or injury which makes being together very difficult. So we run, until finally we have worked through our baggage, fixed our problems and issues, and we realize through the increased love, and awareness of our inner selves, that we have ALWAYS been worthy and that we are good enough.  We have cleared the Karma. reached the pinnacle of our enlightenment, and we are ready to become one again by uniting with our twin flame.  This may not even occur in a physical sense.  It may only end up happening in a spiritual sense on the astral plane.  

Many years ago I believe I found my twin flame.  I felt an instant connection to him and when we began talking it was as if we had known each other our entire lives, and then some.  We had so much in common it was unbelievable.  We started a relationship and it was very exciting in the beginning.  Discovering all the things we had in common and the thoughts we shared on so many levels was incredible.  We would be able to finish each other's thoughts all the time.  He opened up my mind and I opened up his in many ways.  When I was away from him I ached for him.  I felt incomplete.    
After we had explored each other inside and out for several months it got to the point where there was nothing new to discover, and we didn't bring new thoughts and ideas into each others worlds anymore.  He had the same faults and flaws that I did in many ways, and when those faults and flaws came to the forefront it was incredibly irritating and difficult to deal with.  I can be very stubborn and headstrong and so was he.  Sometimes when we would do something that irritated the other we would have a disagreement and then wouldn't talk for days because neither one of us was willing to give in and make amends.  Our egos were still too strong.  Things became kind of tedious and difficult after a while.  

When we eventually broke up it was a very amicable split and we knew that we needed to remain in each other's lives, but more as very close friends (like family), than as lovers.  He is still a very dear friend of mine, and it is interesting to note that he married a woman who is very much like my husband.  When we all get together we have a terrific time.  I now realize that until you have reached your ultimate level of enlightenment you want to have a romantic relationship with your soul mate and not your twin flame, because you want to be able to learn your lessons, let go of your ego, and compliment each other instead of duplicate each other, until you are ready to unite your soul into one in your last incarnation on Earth.  Often times opposites attract because being with your opposite compliments you and helps to open your mind.  This is my belief anyway. 
bluelady1021 bluelady1021 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 23, 2011

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Yes , it is... Living this now.

I've come to realize the experience is what you make it. I want the ultimate union with my tf and that means romantic in every way. None of this settling for another person until I'm ready. That state of "I'm ready" won't come by itself. That's why I'm choosing to be alone and working towards a real romantic union. I just can't lie to myself to be with anyone else...sorry

Here's my story. I knew this boy in my teens through mutual friends. We were troubled teens.Never gave him much thought but always felt his presence. He seemed too cool for me but he actually was just shy. I got involved in a ton of relationships so did he. We both had children uunwed and split from the other parent after a year. We both struggled with work and getting it together until we had kids. We still didn't connect yet... i lost my job and moved to his town. Found out we were 5 minutes away so we had a play date for our kids. His birthday 6.26.80 mine 6.26.82 his son is daughter five...His ex is jade my ex is james they are pretty much identical and cause us great grief. My tf has battled w addictions but has become very financially secure. So have I. We became pregnant very quickly after uniting. It's been a whirlwind of karma darma. Like two flames either burning together in a steady flame or rapidly out of control unbalanced. It's like being on a seesaw and trying to find the middle and stay there. It's not easy. But when it's's heaven. On earth. True oneness. When i look into his eyes i feel heaven. I have had visions. One Before my unite w my tf...which was about how everything works in a circle of life ....karma darma...flower of forces and that i shall not be afraid and a great human awakening a change was about to happen.

My tf and i fought and fought but grew and grew. We are still growing. It's crazy beautoful.its like a detox.

my second vision was the tree of life. I saw heaven. I saw spirits i saw angels and i heard my friends and families prayers. I was only given this vision because he was beside me and we were transforming spritually.

It is not easy. Some may not have the karma thar we have created but everything in our lives mirrors one another. Everything. My attachment to my dad his to his mom learning to let that go our addictions come front and center our fears everything....Our faith United us. I felt a burst of blue light in my chest when we first connected...He felt it first and I felt like I knew him all my life and yet I thought he was insane. Then it hit me too. We were and are truly one. I had a very dysfunctional upbringing and he did too. His dad an alcoholic my mom an alcoholic. ..His mom is controlling over dad is controlling over me. The list goes on and on to our nieces nephews friends life etc. But the more we fight the harder it impacts everyone around us and they...are not as forgiving. Which creates more karma on us. I pray we can ascend. We have found an amazing therapist and continue to go to church. I pray every day we will finally be in heaven on earth for the rest of our lives because when we are in sync at peace just simply being as we are to's the true testimony to unconditional love and it's amazing. We grow so much everyday. The person I was last month seems like a person most would reflect on themselves in a year. I am spiritually growing w my tf and it's beautiful.

Queite the opposite, I have a wonderful almost perfect and spiritual relationship with my tf, the only explanation for some your stories is that you are no tf of each other, too many people claim they have found their tf, yet they dont know what tf is... sorry, no disrespect here, i am just being frank.

No sir, I mean no disrespect, but YOU are the one who is incorrect. If YOU have met someone, and no emotional baggage has been cleared out, no "changing of the guard" has occurred then you are not growing and are not spiritual ready to met your twin flame. Meeting your twin is all about the shift from ego to "God" consciousness, and the ego doesn't relinquish the drivers seat without a tooth and nail fight. So maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship. Nothing wrong with a harmonious, peaceful relationship, but if it is so perfect, and stress free, then that is a clear sign that no, zero, zilch growth is taking place.

I agree totally, if this relationship is not the biggest challenge in your life, it probably is not a twin flame. A "perfect and spiritual" relationship is a soul mate connection. They give us what we need, and that's comforting, and we have the space to resolve karmic issues in our lives. We need soul mates and twin flames both.

Absolutely, one must keep in mind that there are classic stages to the twin flame connection. When I first met mine I thought the sun rose and set around him. 2 years later the human side of him showed was not pretty. But that is the whole point of any relationship, whether it be romantic, family, co-worker, whatever. We attract to us the vibrational frequency that we hold. That's why we date the "same person" only with a different name, until we learn that they are mirrors, and it's not about changing that person, it's about changing and growing ourselves. And with the tf relationship there is the most potential for growth because one is going from ego way of thinking to God consciousness, so there is also the most potential for pain. But if one takes the focus off of that person and realizes that this is them reuniting with myself then the kicking and screaming will be minimized. I wish I could connect a link that helped me but this system won't let me. So I'm recommending "Twin Flame Stages" it's a video on youtube that really helped me.

I agree. I also believe that a perfect, peaceful, harmonious, stress free relationship isn't usually a relationship with your twin flame unless you have no emotional baggage and are on purely a spiritual level. And honestly, most people who have arrived at that place in their lives usually don't want or need a romantic relationship (Dahlai Lama for instance).

Having a romantic relationship with your emotional twin (twin flame) is often very difficult because, as I mentioned in this story, seeing all of your faults and flaws is not easy.

1 More Response

Hi there

Just read ur message on twin flame

I recently got married (2nd time) and i have felt exactly the same way the way u felt for ur twin flame... was wanting to discuss more?

Thank you for writing this. It feels so true for me, exactly what I am experiencing now with my twin. After a 33 year separation from my childhood sweetheart, I had a spiritual experience of our hearts as being only one shared heart. We always felt each other, even before we met, and have never gotten over the sadness of losing each other. This year we reconnected, and have told and shown each other all the darkness of who we are. We had no idea, or at least I didn't, how screwed up I am, how much of my life has been dictated by my fears. At first we wanted desperately to be back together, but now we are just confused about it all. We are both married to our soul mates, who are our ideal partners. Without getting specific, that which is my biggest fear is exactly what his shadow side is. And that which is his biggest fear is exactly what my shadow side is. With a mutual sense of hopelessness, we have backed off from the constant communication of obsessive romance, and into a supportive friendship. My intention now is to heal myself to the point where I can accept all of him as unconditionally as I love him. I can only do the work for myself, but I believe that when one of us is ready to face the mirror again, we will both be ready.

Hi there, I was denying that my twin flame was truly my twin since he did the runner, we have been in each others' lives closely for 21 years and he showed his love only earlier this year and after our deep intimate relationship, he said he is scared and did the runner.
I kept denying it but reading you put exactly what I am feeling, I ought to accept that this is not like a usual man woman relationship.
While I am working on my issues and I am sure so is he, I am hesitant to contact him, do I wait for him to contact me? He did soon after running, but I was too hurt. Since then I have sent him couple of friendly posts but not any other contact.
I have made huge progress but confused when is contact acceptable?

We have to be open to our intuition. Offering friendship is always acceptable. At that point when we were only sharing a few friendly posts, I wrote to him and said I was concerned about his health. A few emails later I said that I wanted him to be a part of my life again, in whatever way we decide is appropriate. It just went on from there, and the more I shared my honesty with him, the more he did with me. We both panic at times, but even when we're "hitting the pause button," that still means daily emails. We can't stay away, as much as it hurts at times, we feel completely safe with each other. If I were you I wouldn't wait for him to make the next move. Follow your heart. Let his reaction set the pace of how much you share with him. I think everyone finds the intensity of twin flames scary, just be sensitive to how he feels (you will absolutely know!) and back off when he needs that. It's a wild and crazy ride.

I´ve been reading articles about Twin Flames, I feel so confused because one part of me doesn t want to believe that I may have found my Twin flame, but the connection I feel with him, and unconditional Love is so intense that it make me wonder about it... I´ve met him 3 years ago in my work, but then he left the job 1 week (happened to be the same week that me and my 1st boyfriend ended up a relashionship of 4 years) or so after I entered the company, we keept contact via facebook, but nothing that special. He was in a Long term relationship that started when mine started and ended almost 2 years after we met, in the mean while I never dated anyone, until march 2012, that he asked me out after he and his girlfriend ended the relationship.. the connection was imediate and intense, but then one month after he traveled abroad and I got so scared, I felt him kind of disconecting to me, and I started dating another man even though I was thinking of him... When he returned from the trip he wanted us to meet, but I said no... I told him I had someone... he insisted that we meet just for a coffee.. I told him no.... but I SOOO wanted to see him... I know that in the mean while he had other girls, but he kept asking me out.. so in december It was impossible for me to say no to him... even though I had another man in my life.... I felt so good to be with him again but at the same time soooooo bad, I was really sick and ended the relashionship that I had with the other man.... confused and feeling him slipping away from me once again I ended up giving another man a chance, I felt neediness like I´ve never felt before (I was never a dating girl type, was with my 1st boyfriend from my 25th till 29th years old and then from 29th to 31th had no one.... after being with him I was with 2 man to try to forget him unsussessfully...) now I don t want no one.... but I feel so frustrated and afraid because I feel like he´s gonna come back to me always... but then he runs... he admited the connection we have between us, something like karmic.... but then he dates other girls too, girls that come in and out of his life rather quickly, that eventualy gets tired of them and returns to me.... I want to feel used by him, because of this behavior, but when we´re together it is so PERFECT, that I only feel unconditional Love and never feel used by him. I want to say to him no more of this, but it feels like it is against my nature, so I´ve started to just slipp from him for as long as I can... ending up by being drawn to him again... my social live improved so much since I´ve been with him, I didn t have any friends, was always in my house alone cause I didn t even like people, and now I do have friends, I go out and I love people, and that I owe to him.... I can not hate him ot feel anger, it seems like if I had those feelings for him, I would be feeling them for myself.... he is part of me and I don t know what to do, cause I always end up running away from him, and feeling frustrated and sad, and confused, because we are always running away from each other for as long as we can.... only to realise that we have to be together again... and an addiction... a drug....


There's a lot of kooky stuff out there on the ole internet about twin flames and soulmates, but I have to say that this article was well written, insightful and I learned something. I recognize now that it's possible to meet your twin flame but that doesn't mean a romantic relationship is meant to be, at least not in this lifetime. The twin flame relationship is bigger than romantic, and even though we're not in each others lives anymore (big shocker), the giant mirror reflecting back to me is still teaching.

So very, very true. My former boyfriend, who I still believe is my twin flame, is one of my best friends. We are like family and love each other dearly, but not in a romantic way at all. My true love is my husband who is my soulmate. When my twin flame and I get together we often talk for hours and share all kinds of information. We seem to escalate each others thinking and views on things a great deal. I feel so lucky to have connected with him in such a beneficial way.

Thank u so muchh I am a merried women and I met my twin flame at 19 I knew he was the one right away but he wasn't ready to be serious so we only lasted 1yr but I went 8 yrs with out talking to him it hurt emensly when we broke up like my soul had been riped out from under me I eventuly got merried and we got ahold of eachother agin on facebook he told me he still loved me but steped aside cause I'm merried we talked for months and it was hard to let him go he stoped replying after awhile but left me a message saying he'd always love me I love my husband but not like my flame ur story helped

Your welcome, and I know exactly what you mean.

This story has helped me immensely. I wish I could know what happens after you've met your twin flame, realized one of you was not yet ready and suffered enough to pain to need to escape. How do you keep breathing and moving forward, knowing half of you will not make it this go around?

i know that i finaly met my twinfame, i dont know if he has descovered. alot of what i have, its like every negative thing in my life, he had it in his, he was stubborn, and i couldnt say oh your just stubborn because i was stubborn. i played games when i was younger, and he haqs been paying games and i cant say anything because i was doing it too. i feel so uncomfortable at times, because i see myself in him, i was running away so much distancing mysef because i didnt want to face myself. it was so uncomfortable but i know i want and i needed to change. i have come along way since i met my twin. i want to be a better person. i want to love and have peace and happiness. looking at him is like looking in the mirror. i had bad relationships, and i was giving up on love, and then i met him. at the most oddest and strange place, all i want to know is why did i go there, and he was the first person that spoke to me. im still scared. because the love i feel for him. i never felt in my life for any man. hes younger than i am. and that is scary also. we suffered the same things in our life. i try to walk away. but i desire him. no one can take his place. its so much to explain. i know in my spirit that he is the one i have been looking for. what else could it be.

I am happy I found your story. I have found my twin and my desire was so much it physically hurt being away... I was so focused on what I wanted I failed to acknowledge where he stood... I spent 10 years hoping I could have him... it took me that long to understand that just because I am willing to make the effort doesn't mean he is ready... even apart from me he has shown me many of my flaws.....

hi. Do you continue to be in contact or know of his progress through someone? I can agree learning from distance on flaws and then hope that when both are ready, reunite. Is that hope still there for you? Please share.

Your thoughts and views do make sense when you come to think about it..thanks for sharing it :)

think it is thehardest love to share the goods are the greatest the pian of there lose to death or ilness is a 1000 time worst then just knowing a person<br />
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what you share i can not put into words, and really you do not use words lots of time to communicate you do it in your mind or we did for many years<br />
i know even to day she is near right now i can still feel her bond and i know she was sitting by me in themovies last night as some one sat there for a few minutes then got up and moved saying they had the AC on<br />
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my wife was killed at age 19 not soon after we started our 6 years as man and wife

I am so sorry. So you married your wife when she was 13 - WOW! Interesting comment that person made about the AC. Those I have known who have encountered spirits always say there is a temperature drop when spirit energy is near. Do you think your wife may be guiding you through life and that is her purpose as your twin flame, which is why your time together was so short? So you would recognize her presence once she was gone, and be more accepting of her guidance?

You have excellent thoughts on the subject and I tried to message you but EP told me I needed tokens to do that (?). I was going to apologize for the comment, especially since reading it now, it seemed I was projecting negativity about it, but that was not my intent! Your story is accurate and well written, but the truth isn't always easy and hit me in a sore spot :( Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned ;)

"People say that you can't have a romantic relationship with your twin, but why not? We are spiritual beings MADE of LOVE. We are LOVE, GOD is LOVE. A twin flame relationship is the purest kind of love you can imagine."<br />
<br />
And I think that is probably why most understand that a romantic relationship with your twin flame can be very difficult and often doesn't work out. For many romantic relationships come with conditions, restrictions, sexual issues, and problems like jealousy. Romantic love is not the purest kind of love. Romantic love is often the most difficult, conditional, emotional, and restrictive kind of love because it is heavily influenced, by hormones, emotions, and other things that are very human, and far less spiritual. <br />
<br />
I believe that the primary purpose of romantic love is to unite us with soul mates who will help us learn lessons, clear karma, let go of ego, and advance spiritually. I believe that when you have reached the point of enlightenment where you have cleared your Karma, learned the lessons life has to offer, and no longer have ego, and are ready to join with your twin flame because they have done the same, you no longer need romantic love. You are past that. <br />
<br />
Love with a twin flame is a far deeper, unconditional, spiritual, and often less human, and not physical kind of love. Because of this, unless you have reached the point of spiritual enlightenment where you are rarely, if ever, influenced by all of the needs, emotions and feelings that are purely human, and unless you no longer need all of the things that accompany romantic love, love with a twin flame will not work out.

Beautifully written.

Thanks for this story. I have heard the same thing many times, even from my spiritual teacher, and alot of people have been given this same advice. I understand it can be true for some people, but I think most of us who have awakened enough to find out about twin flames, will quickly clear their Karma and get rid of ego. My spiritual teachers have parted from their twin flames because they said all of their flaws were put on display and they couldn't turn away, but I can't help but think that's what's MEANT to happen. If it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be worth it. If LIFE weren't hard, what would be the point of living? We would just be existing, not really LIVING. I have seen people yearning for their twin flames, and being repremanded for it, but this is so wrong. People say that you can't have a romantic relationship with your twin, but why not? We are spiritual beings MADE of LOVE. We are LOVE, GOD is LOVE. A twin flame relationship is the purest kind of love you can imagine. We have this life experience, so we can eventually turn back to love. I think when we meet our twin flames, we have to be ready, and if we are not, they are there to help make us ready. There are going to be big changes in the upcoming years, and now is more important than ever to awaken to our highest selves possible, and teach others, including our twins, if need be.