It Is a Crossroad

I used to enjoy work, and it had no conflict with life or home. But after my baby was born, things became different, now I had a home! and life!!

I don't know which one is worse, not having a life, or not being able to enjoy work.

LordVoldemort LordVoldemort
36-40, F
9 Responses Mar 28, 2009

@ Jophene: so true, but my family, specially my kid thinks I am the super woman!<br />
<br />
@ Roj: Well I can be a good engineer later, but I can never be a good mother later!?!?<br />
<br />
@ Kiwi spirit: well spoken, I totally agree

kids are work...The job titles you have when becoming a parent are endless.

LV you'll surely enjoy work again, but probably not for a while and maybe a different sort of work. At least you're prioritising your daughter over your work - that's a good sign really (sad to say I have trouble with that).<br />
<br />
Life indeed, Jophiel.

It is hard to find the middle of the road, with children life changes if you do both ur constantly stressed. Unless ur superwoman you have to compromise, have you ever tried working at home???? Perhaps in a diff. field? Any new interests???<br />
At the end of the day kids come first aaah ..... life.

@ Roj: I know, I have a load of house work to do, and I have to help my daughter with her home work and take her to school, ....<br />
<br />
I don't think I'll ever enjoy work again

I'm not sure you can have both - you have to get good at compartmentalising work I think. That then changes your relationship with work. No longer open-ended. Can't compartmentalise your kids! And especially it's difficult to have both if you have a big workload at home too (ie no help with housework).

But it's hard to concentrate on work when you have to leave soon, or when your daughter is nagging you!

Thank you for your concern and guidance, it's really good to have such a wise friend. My husband does help with the baby. I even take my baby to work sometime.<br />
<br />
Actually she is not a baby anymore, she goes to school next year.

Yes, babies can make a major change in one's life! But it doesn't have to last forever. Depending on how demanding your work is with your time and energy, sometimes you can make some adjustments in your schedule and still have time for Baby. Of course, this is why many women USED to take off for a couple of years with a ne one. That's the easiest way. Today, that isn't so feasible for various reasons. Can your husband assume more responsibilty for the baby, to give you more timeand energy for work? That can be a good solution. Some modern men actually want to do this. Your job probably won't let you cut back too much, right? That can help if they do, like flex time. What have other women in your line done about this? They may have established some precedents you can take advantage of. Approach this situation like you would to solve any important problem. Write down what can be changed, what can't, what MAYBE can be changed. List your options: Husband can do -- job can allow -- I can shift, adjust, etc. Discuss it with your man, then with your supervisor or even Big Boss. Se what you can work out to be more satisfied, happy, and efficient in all your life? A different baby care? Different schedule? Redistribute chores and tasks? Use your skills to resolve this in your favor, girl!