When Can I Just Forgive My Sister?

     broken heartThis has been one of the hardest part of my life to go through.  My sister as a child used to cling on me, look up to me, and just adored me.  As we got older we started looking like twins, in fact we were 3 years apart and called the Double Mint Twins from some waiter on Rollerblades in South Beach outside Gloria Estefans restaurant.  My sister eventually grew to be her own persona, meaning to have her own personality.  I was the oldest and it was time for her to move on.  I decide to move back to Miami after high school without her, this was the beginning of hatred she had for me.
          When I came back 3 years later, she hated me, despised me for leaving her, and became insanely jealous of me.  I had many talents back then and still do till this day that she literally tries making me look like crap infront of people or my family just to get her kicks off.  The thing is she's good with that tongue of a snake of hers.  She doesn't realize what damage she does to me and how bad it hurts when I couldn't tell you what I have done to her.  As time past I had a few girlfriends, now mind you my sister is straight and well one day I come home for lunch with flowers for my girlfriend.  The door to our bedroom was closed, and when I walked in well you can only imagine what I saw.  Cheating, cheating, cheating, and betrayal!  My own sister betrayed me, that shouldn't even happen.  People in the olden days used to kill family members for meddling with their spouses or significant others.  I broke up with my girl and didn't speak with my sister for a whole 2 years. 
          I finally made amends with her after time but never forgot and wasn't sure if I actually forgave her for what she did to me.  Time past by and I opened up a cigar business, I knew how to roll cigars since i was about 13, well she was jealous of that too.  After about 5 years or so I closed the business down and just did some rolling on my own for special parties like weddings, social gatherings, and bachelor parties under my last name.  She would show up at these events and give me those snares and talk crap about me to her friends.  It was awful, another rage of jealousy and sooner or later while we saw each other at bars it was like the tug of war of the good and the evil sister.  I was the good one and she was the evil one, simple as that and everyone new it.
          Just recently while she's been doing her little business as an aesthetician, one of her clients offered her money to give for opening a business, well the little opportunist took it of course.  Guess what she called the business?  My last name except with L.L.C at the end of it plus 3 other partners and a rolling chick from Dominican republic.  What a jerk, I mean how could she do this to me?  She knows that my rolling is a novelty and that I'm the only female roller around for many states which is an accomplishment.  In this state I'm known as the one and only female cigar roller.  Why would she go and try to defy this and not have me in the business with her, all she is for the business is sales.  Well apparently the other partners asked her why I wasn't going to be apart of the business for shares and her answer was to these total strangers who don't even know me was "I want to do this myself, my sister is controlling and I don't want her to tell me what to do."  So they are like OK, well lets begin but we need her as a roller and let her charge her customers for her rolling purposes and we get paid for the cigars.  Do see what she has done, I'm in the back burner she's calling the shots and I'm the star of what should be mine.  I hate to sound like I'm bragging but it's the truth, this is my stardom not hers and she just ran me over just because I don't have money and she got some person to give her money and get involved in our family business.  Family, huh, well I guess I'm not part of the family because I've had plenty of fights with everyone in the family and they all said there only needs to be one boss.  My sister though, come on really this is an absurdity. 
          How can I forgive if the forgetting doesn't stop.  I'm not at peace with her at all and I'm anxious for the upcoming event this Saturday for my rolling gig because I have to be around people I don't even know that she talked so badly about me to.  I'm just going to do what I can to survive this weekend but I know this forgiving stuff is going to take a long time and I only wish I had the answers to solve this horrible problem.  I want my sister back! broken heart
freedom37 freedom37
36-40, F
Jun 10, 2010