Was 115 during my teen years and that felt healthy for me ( very small build, not very tall) and now I weigh 90 lbs. I have seen a doctor and a therapist. I want to eat I just can't.
M00nkitty M00nkitty
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 19, 2014

Do you lack appetite and just not feel hungry or is it something more serious like an eating disorder? Since you have seen a doctor & therapist it sounds like your taking care of your self .

I don't often feel hungry and when I do and things aren't copacetic I feel sick when I look at food. But when I am happy and peaceful and things around me are peaceful I eat very well and stop when I am full, love food and trying new things. I do not think I am fat. I would like to not see my ribs so much especially in my chest area, I look very skeleton-like. This has been happening since I was a teen. My mother has an eating disorder I believe where she thinks she is fat and is going to get fat and she is not. She did not eat very well or provide many complete meals at an age where I depended on her because she did not recognize her own need to eat . when I was a kid would warn me that I have "fat relatives" so I have to be careful. When I put on the freshman 15 she stated I should lose the weight and if I did she would buy me a new outfit...stuff like that. So I think my issues have to do more with trauma around food and not being able to please my mom issues than with my own body. As I address the trauma I experienced I notice I've had more of an appetite, but it hasn't been consistent enough for me to put on the pounds... Yet! That being said, I'm talking to a friend who's helping me learn yoga and how to strength train, what to eat and how much I need of protein, fat and carbs as well as the blood tests for diabetes ( negative) and b12 absorption ( I may have a problem there, 2nd test soon) and thyroid ( no problem).
I am learning how to take care of myself! :)