Can't Necessarily Say I *want* To...

Nobody really wants to get caught but sometimes it's the easiest way to have the truth come out. I've told two people already so I know just how hard it is to work up the courage and the words but the feeling of telling the two people I trust so very much was such a relief. I can only imagine how life could be if my family knew but I honestly don't know how to read them to know what kind of reaction to expect. I also feel that while living at home, it'd be awkward for them to know (whether they ever see me dressed or not, I'd feel awkward around them) just having to face them every day and wondering what they REALLY think... but at the same time I have recently been wondering if just letting it all out, either revealing my secret intentionally or not, would help me get the freedom I'm craving or would it make my life worse? I know I can rely on the two people I've told to defend me, but whether that will make everything go smoothly or not is still a mystery... I'm not ready, I don't think, and it's never wise to come out or let yourself get caught (intentionally) before you're ready... but at the same time the craving for freedom is just so powerful.
22-25, M
1 Response Dec 6, 2012

I understand that mix of emotions. I don't think being caught is what you want, but the freedom the aftermath of being caught should enable you.

Sadly I don't have the answer, but I think it's great you told 2 people. That takes a lot of courage. Maybe you can now talk to them and fund their thoughts on including more people in your inner circle.

Life is too short to be unhappy; but you don't want to make life uncomfortable either (I get that).

For me I try to find a balance; but it's a tight rope walk. I have people who know some, others who know all, and some I never want to tell.