I Have Nothing Of My Own Yet I OwnI am word conscious person nt in speaking as much but in hearing , reading and writing!I commented on a story of one of my friends tht "i have nothing of my own" and then logged out.And in some seconds i realized tht my comment was having a tinge of pessimism in it!
And i just got pressed over it and the sentence go on ringing in my mind"I have nothing of my own" "I have nothing of my own"!
and then in some minutes I got answered from God!
it was perhaps in these words tht:
"those who expect and get happy by receiving gratitude dnt know rightly the art of giving"
My pessimistic comment was actually because of my one thinking perhaps tht human beings are having only power of intention as their own which is further answered back accordingly from beyond in form of circumstances of life and tht intention also gets affected by society in which we live and secondly the very intention is made up of those ideas which were implanted in us since our childhood!so tht intention also does nt remain purely ours!
so the answer lies in this fact
"the giving of God is very much different from giving of human beings"
I mean He does not make us embarrassed of borrowing anything from Him!very moment I call Him and pray to Him and only at a step's distance , tht is the distrance of truely praying to Him, brings always relief in one or other form to satisfy me!so He blesses without making us embarrasssed rather He makes us able to enjoy the blessing to the full!
I remember when a mother of my student came to visit me and she said tht she really likes sky!and tht she wakes up in morning and first of all sees sky and pays gratitude to God tht He allowed her and blessed her to see His sky!
Me myself like to look at sky so much from one corner to other, from skies to earth and then to earth to sky!not once He discouraged me or stopped me to see this vast beautiful sky!and tht I feel during seeing sky tht this is the roof of ours under which we human beings live and that sense of brotherhood , Our sky!Our earth! Our world!Our planet!
but He never ever discouraged this feeling rather it had been the feeling for every time experiencing the sight of beautiful sky!
that borrowed thing which is from human beings dnt have enjoyment in its utility fully...may be it is true for many like me!
My keyboard was nt working well and my brother was to talk to us after so long a period online and we borrowed keyboard from my sister and we were using it and we were very much conscious of this thing tht we are using borrowed thing and have to return it sooner and moreover my nephew came to take back the keyboard to do some important work and my brother went in hurry to market and bought a new keyboard to use sooner and more expensive than we had purchased it in no hurry!
I borrowed one book from friend's father to read and during reading i wanted to mark some important point but did nt mark because it was nt of my own and left the idea of marking it!
I remember when one of my high school friend start weeping over one thing .and wht was tht? that I sharped her pencil without her permission now her pencil was seeming smaller to her!and i was shocked over this!and to some extent laugh out loudly!but did nt!as she was crying My Pencil!My Pencil!
so this is the idea of borrowed thing from human beings which they give to us for certain time period!
Now this life is given to us by God for some days and this is kind of borrowed thing which was there in my mind considering tht there is nothing of my own!(this is the reason tht i just condemn the idea of suicide tht we should nt ignore tht this is blessing of Allah and we should not make it curse with our own hands)
but God Has nt told us the time of death! this is wht makes our life in true sense life otherwise every passing moment would be death making us conscious of our approaching death and time left behind!Death is actually giving life to life making it worthy thing because of its limited time!
and the whole life we make choices according to our mind and heart!
He Does nt stop us to call out My choice!My life!My Heart!My Mind!
so this is how God made it possible for us to enjoy the utility of borrowed thing also!
A farmer ploughs fields and harvests the crop at the end.The process is completed in some months, more in days, even more in minutes , even more in seconds and even more in moments!Every moment Allah blesses the seed to become plant, then plant to give fruit at the end!The whole process of growth water from sky, soil of earth, airs of universe, symbionts, animals, honey bees, every power of nature works to prepare that crop to which at the end farmer calls solely My crop! My field!
No one says him tht it is nt yours but it is the belonging of God Who Has made it grow from dead earth, life out of death is given by God!rather if any farmer is denied the fruit of his soil and harvests by any other person we call it injustice!
so human being is made crown of creation and all other natural powers work to serve him by blessing , love and mercy of Allah!not tht other creations are denied blessings they are likewise enjoying His blessings in this system of universe.
The very earth is divided by human beings shedding blood to gain independence to live in this world peacefully,history of independence gets written with blood of people and at the end of struggle they call out My Country!My people!My culture!
People sell and buy lands, property papers are made and they are declared as owners of certain piece of land and they shout with pleasure My Land!
God Does nt discourage them in declaring His earth as their own!
Hundreds of times I have called out My God! My God! My God!
The God of Whole creations Has nt discouraged me to say so tht He is the God of all so I m any less important!No! never ever this feeling came tht if Almighty Allah is to hear all prayers of human beings,made me feel tht He is nt listening me.
Every time when i whispered His name He gives back call to me!
He allows me to whisper His name in the dark silent night!
He allows me and teaches my heart to whirl in the divine love and gain ecstasy and get happiness for no reason!
He allows me to whirl around His name If I m nt able to go there to Kaaba to whirl around khana Kaaba!
He makes me call out Labaik( i m present) in the prisons also!
As much i want to get chained by His Love that much freedom I gain!
How many times i have presented my own self in front of Him considering tht nothing is mine I m His! I m His! take me!take me please!
and He sets me free of all those chains tht reside inside me!
He sets me free from all those chains tht society or any other thing puts on me!more I want to be chained by His love more He teaches me worship tht is not out of fear or incentive but out of love!love out of love!
freedom from fear and freedom from such incentives!
love for love!and I say My Love! My Love!
but He does nt show any coldness rather inspires me with beauty of inside and outside !
More I want to become His true servant He informs me about the hidden treasures inside the master of which He Has made me!and i try to find with curiosity My Treasure!
Then days of some trial come when I get troubled by something and I call out in pain or my heart trembles to find Him, my senses yearn to see Him, to hear Him , to taste the fruit of His love and I call out Oh God! Oh My Heart! Oh My Heart!My Soul!My Thirst!
In some cruel snare if i get trapped I go away from Him and then the remaining peace also goes and then I realize tht how much untouched I was even in this problem and grief tht was actually In His love and I came back running , weeping to Him telling about my pain then i feel the shower of His love to me to console me and not considering my unfaithfulness.
He blesses me and tells me the reason of starting pain (to soften my heart to give dwelling to love) and the ending restlessness (the distance from Him) and the intention to come back to Him(His own call as per His Own faithfulness in Love which He Has for His creation , the promise of love He never breaks).
My thoughts when get complicated over some matter , i dnt feel like moving even dissolved in solution searching and then practically i feel as if earth is denied to me and there is no space to walk for me on earth and that verse in Quran I got reminded of:
They (angels) say: "Was not the earth of Allah spacious enough for you to emigrate therein?"
and I get relief from my thoughts through seeking inspiration from His name Allah! Allah! Allah!
and the problem gets solved and earth becomes same vast and for me as a gift from God to mankind to walk freely!
Moments come when i really fly higher than birds in my imagination and even i feel it in my muscles that they have that coldness which those birds would be having little of it during their flight.though the wings aspire for much higher goal but i came to home back!this sparrow yearns to become eagle but yet the chains are still to be unchained to get chained to that Beloved Who unchains!
I m still not able to act upon it completely but the lesson of giving is so important but the way the Creator blesses and gives it os very much great way which human being cant attain though he must try for this kind of giving:
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving,
nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
there was so much in my mind when i was inspired but now during writing i forgot much and at least i would be ending my life counting his blessings but they would nt end up tht He Has given me though for certain time period they are but He does nt make me feel tht and manages to make me able to enjoy its utility!
so ! have nothing of my own even then I own!
He makes me so!
blessings so many!