I Dunno Why

I act like it doesn't matter to me.  But it seems like there's always someone planning their wedding around me, at work/someone at work's family; distant family, Eric's mom's friends, my friends.  And it's all people who've been dating for much less than Eric and I have.  So I tell myself they're older, they don't have as much time as we do.  Eric told a friend of ours that he was getting me a ring for xmas last year.  He chickened out.  I think I would too.  He uses my metal allergies against me.  "Oh, what am I supposed to get you, a Ring Pop?"  He didn't like it when I said, "yeah"
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I really am happy for everyone I know who's all into their weddings and all.  I'm not really jealous.  It just kinda makes me- not envious, but I don't really know the right word. There's just this stone in the pit of my stomach that seems to get bigger the more I hear about dresses and cakes and favors and stuff.  I guess there's kind of an exclusion factor too, since I've only been to 3 weddings lifetime total.  They talk about these big parties that no one I know is even invited to, mostly.  And the other women at work have all been married, so they can talk from experience about this and that.  I've never, so I just stand there and nod dumbly.  I didn't even think to ask what Brandy's new last name was.  Am I that much of a matrimonial nitwit?
mandarose524 mandarose524
26-30, F
4 Responses May 5, 2007

Well you are for sure not alone in this at all. I for one can not wait to be engaged i have been with my guy for 1yr and 3 months ok so thats not alot of time to be with someone and already think of being engaged but when you know you know. Im 26yrs old and hes 23. Hes so wonderful to me and to my family, im so in love with him, love his family and his friends which is all a plus. Weddings and babys are happening all around me, Im not jeolous at all but i dont wonder when its gonna happen for me and i do have my doubts sometimes. Like when my boyfriend says lets plan a trip for across the world but when we talk about getting engaged hes says he doesnt even have engough to save up for a ring, how does this make sence.I find myself alil depressed but this, or maybe its just the fact that hes not ready. Help? any ideas

I feel the same way!!! Recently it seems like all of my friends are getting engaged or married and it just makes me feel like I am not good enough or something. Im not jealous, its like I just want to have that feeling too. I am so in love with my boyfriend and I know that he loves me, but I just want to have that feeling like he is mine and that I can plan the biggest day in my life!

I feel the same way, especially when so many people past several months have gotten engaged or married around me. I'm not ready to get married yet, but I am ready to get engaged. My guy is slow though, or maybe he's just too calculative. For him, engagement means immediate wedding planning for which the time isn't right yet. But for me engagement can lie separately, marriage can follow in a year, two, three, doesn't matter. It's just another stage, more serious than just a relationship of bf & gf, but less serious than a marriage. But I do get frustrated every time I see a brand new ring on someone's finger or hear about weddings. After a while I forget about it. Until the next time... haha

I tell you this as one who has experienced what you are going through. I, at one time, longed to be engaged and have a wedding so much so, that I married the wrong person and have been through hell ever since. Being engaged really isn't so different than being in a committed relationship. You just now agree that you are heading in the direction of marriage then the stress of planning a wedding surfaces. Now as pretty as weddings are, remember the costs associated with weddings. And I'm not just talking about the monetary costs, I speak of the emotional ones as well. It is emotionally draining planning a wedding and merging two families together for one day for the event. The monetary cost upwards of $20,000 and emotional costs (hurt feelings, grudges, etc.) could last a lifetime. Having a beautiful wedding does not make a beautiful marriage. Ask yourself this question, if we were to get married and we split up, would it be a bitter split or would it be amicable? If the answer is bitter, discount the marriage thing, and buy yourself your own ring.