Up & Down

I thought I was ready when things were great, then I doubted when thing were bad.

After a long while, now that things have changed drastically in my relationship (good change), even though everything is excellent, I learned that I'm so not ready to get married now. Sure, I'd like to get engaged, but not married. I would like that eventually, but only when time comes.

Sometimes I think that I'm too skeptical about marriages. Too much garbage I've seen, read, and experienced through friends/acquaintances that it doesn't leave me much hope in happy ever after. Well, I don't believe in happy ever after anyway, but I'd like to believe in marriages that last not out of habit or money or children or whatever else, but out of love, just that simple. That's why sometimes I doubt that I'll ever be ready b/c the more time goes by, the wiser I become and also more rational. With all that, the idea of getting married sorta vanishes in the air, more & more.

People want to get married when they're madly in love. I am madly in love myself. I have the most wonderful guy on Earth & believe me, for me to say that, he really needs to be that! However, I don't let it blind me completely & don't let my mind to be misled. I also don't want to make the mistake of getting married too young (I'm 25 now, not that young, but still) b/c early marriages tend to end early as well.

Marriage itself is usually the paperwork, contracts, property, stamp, seal, sign. If we had to choose this type of marriage or marriage that would just involve going to some sacred ancient church and through the ceremony open both of your hearts before god or higher power, without paperwork or garbage like that, most of us would definitely choose the traditional type of marriage. Yea, yea, we need to secure ourselves, blah blah. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I sense something fishy in here & when I sense something fishy, I try to move away from it. But again, what the hell...

Am I thinking too much?

misasja misasja
26-30, F
Jul 14, 2007