I Want To Get The Hell Out Of Here

So I live in fayetteville so you can obviously understand this story. I am at the end of my freaking rope I'm 21 years old so I have a hard time struggling I have a hard time trying to find a decent job the only thing I could do is work temporary and I applied almost everywhere but wal mart or McDonald's. I can't work walmart cause everyone I know works at that friggin place not to mention they would have you working crazy butt backwards hours, and McDonald's is no go for me cause I've worked in a fast food place before and it was one of the many things that triggered my depression my first job was when I was 18 and I have just graduated high school and 4 months in it got to be a little bit to much for me and I had a breakdown and it caused me to quit. it took a good four years but I'm finally over it thank god. I want to get out of here because for one I can't find any source of employment for me the women are way too shallow and stuck up and because of the fact that I can't find a job I still have to live with my mother and can't afford a car so you would already know that I would be denied even one second of conversation. There was only one plan that I had to get me out of here and that was to get out of here and live with my grandparents and find a job there but that backfired cause my grandmother was horribly sick and they said it just wasn't the right time to move down there but I think I read it a little differently cause of the fact that I cared less about my father they automatically think that I fend for myself and not let them bum in there house. I am stuck in a rut I really hate this ******* place one of my friends is moving out in a week and going to California everyone I know has moved out and I'm stuck here in this hell the only thing that's keeping me here is my best friend and lately that's been starting be on and off with us and school if those idiots in financial aid can ever get there **** together in time before January. I feel suffocated sometimes I can't ever tell my mom about it cause she acts she cant understand, I guess she thinks that since she's stuck here for the rest of her natural life I do the same and dragged down with her I'm almost 22 now and I am still living with my mom when women say that oh you should get a job with a steady paycheck, oh I'm not talking to you cause you live with you mother you don't have a car so you're a loser. and that gets to me a lot cause I am trying so I don't think it's me it's just this ******* town cause apparently I'm not good enough for them or anyone here. it's getting to be ridiculous but what can I do I've exercised every option that I had I guess I have to shallow this pill that I'm stuck here for the rest of my life to rot and not meant to have a life.
unknown89 unknown89
22-25, M
Oct 17, 2010