A Drop Of Gypsy BloodGrowing up it was just me and my mom. We left home after my parents divorced, drove halfway across the country in a U-haul, found an apartment off the cuff, and survived for a year before we decided that we were never meant for the climate and turned around and went home. Looking back, it was one of the best experience of my life.
When we got home, nothing was right anymore. My friends hated me, my grandfather was sick, and home no longer felt like home. That year of school was the absolute worst of my life. I was depressed and my weight ballooned. I hated everything. I endured it for nine more years, with ups and downs, but the only time I was ever happy was on one of the many crazy, impromptu or wild road trips my mom and I took over the years.
Her job requires her to go on conferences all over the state several times a year, and I always tagged along. We always have the best time, whether it is going to a conference which meant I got left alone in a five star hotel by myself all day, or if it was a road trip that we planned, which meant we stayed in a $59 dollar a night motel that was really only good enough to sleep in, or if we went up north and stayed with family. Every place was a new place to call home, even if it was just for a night or two, and every hour on the road was a mini adventure in itself.
The best trip I actually took without my mom, but with a friend when I graduated high school. She and I went to the UK and did England, N. Ireland, Wales and Scotland in two weeks. We backpacked and stayed in hostels and road the train. It was incomparably the best experience of my life, and I regret every moment since that I have not been living my life that way.
Now I am at college three hours away from home, and my situation doesn't suck. I like the school and I have a niche and a group I am heavily involved in, an apartment with good roommates and friends (life isn't unicorns and rainbows, there is the drama and crap, but it doesn't suck) but I feel so completely discontent, and I feel the overwhelming desire to run!! I feel disconnected from my friends, even though I love them.
Last road trip my mom and I took was to stay with my brother so she could go to the cancer center in the area. Despite the fact that she was sick and the whole reason we were on a trip was because she is battling cancer, it was still the most fun I have had in a long time, and felt even remotely at ease. I wasn't worried about the friend drama I have here at school, and I was relaxed enough to do homework (I know that sounds weird, but I feel so discontent that when I am at school, when I sit down to do homework, I freak out and find something mind numbing to do instead, like stumbling upon this site and writing a blog instead :P) I loved being anywhere else, even if it was just for a couple of days!
A friend and I are getting a house together next year, and when I think about it, I think I should through all my crap in a suitcase, drive up to New York and then catch a flight to Ireland, and start my life as a gypsy early. But then I think of my obligations to my friends, my mom, and to finish school, and I tell myself not to. But I really don't know how much longer I will listen to my own advice. My mom did always say I had too much gypsy blood for my own good.