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Should I Be Angry With My Ex? Or Should I Wish Him All The Best?

Hi all!

I have a story to tell. I know, all of you do. But mine is special just because it is mine...
I moved in to this house almost 7 years ago. I rented a room in a house with a live-in landlord. I was 24. He was 48. A year and a half later we became a couple. The age gap did not bother me one bit. For some reason the was the one not wanting to kiss or even hold hands in public. All was good, more than good - it was awesome. I had a guy who loved me, who looked after me, who was interesting and well-read and traveled. I was just at the very beginning of my career and my adult life. Fast forward eight months, his behavior towards me changed so much and I did not even know what I had done wrong. Whenever I asked what brought this dramatic change, I got a shrug or just silence. I moved back to my room and with time the wound me made in my heart healed. Or so I thought.
Over the last four and a half years (since he broke up with me) I have been renting my room from him just as if "we" never happened. Over that time I had a boyfriend who would come for dinner, lunch or even stay overnight once or twice, but never longer than that.
Now, my ex, having not had anyone since breaking up with me, has a girlfriend - an old classmate from university ( I gathered they must have been an item then but clearly it did not survive). Fast forward 30 years - they hooked up again. The problem is that as much as I know she may be his ex from ages ago, she does not know that I am his ex as well. she has come to stay for a week (I knew from the very beginning it would be a trial for me). I tried to behave like an adult, like a grown-up, I did my best to be nice, maybe even friendly. But I feel more and more that I have put on a mask. Also I just don't want to spend any time with them - it's mostly in the kitchen at meal times. Very unfortunately for me, a week ago I had a surgical procedure on my knees and have been house-bound for a week now. This is also the week when she's been around.
I don't want to be with him, I could not care less about him. What really bothers me is how lovely he is around her - just like he was when we first got together. And another unfortunate thing is that our bedrooms have adjoining wall - so you can only imagine the sounds escaping through the door and carried through the wall... Every night and every morning...

I don't know if I am jealous or angry. Is it fair on me that he is putting me through this? Should he be more thoughtful about bringing his new girlfriend around for a week when his ex is still renting one of his bedrooms? I find it difficult to talk to her after a few days, but she is not the villain here. Is she a victim in this whole situation? Am I a victim? Or am I just a jealous old hag who should get over herself? Am I just being envious of their happy moments together (in a way saying that if I am not getting any - you have no right either)?

I have started looking to move out - I cannot believe it's only now that I am doing this. Only after feeling the physical pain that I am experiencing when listening to their chitter-chatter, their laughs, and the making-love sounds. It used to be me. I remember it all very well. 

Please any opinions will be much appreciated. I need untainted point of view on this situation.

All the best. At


Angrywithmyex Angrywithmyex 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2011

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I think he's an *******, and both you women are his victims. Move out and move on. You seem to have some residual romantic feelings for the guy so the sooner you get away from this the better. I wish YOU the best.