Never Got To Share My Story

When I was younger our family lives in the perfect suburbs, the perfect house, etc. mainly it's what my mother expected. Yet every night I would fall asleep to my parents screaming and throwing things. When I was 10 my mother served my father with divorce papers on Xmas eve. Obviously this led to a fight where my 1 yr old brother and I were put in the car and spent the remainder of Xmas in a hotel. From that point things went downhill. My mother did everything she could to keep us kids away from my father out of spite. She fell into a deep depression where she couldn't get out of bed, started using drugs and I would stay home from school to care for my brother. My father also started heavily using drugs and dating an exotic dancer. Finally at age 14 my mother got a steady job and started caring for my brother again. But because I reminded her of my father I was told that I would "end up just like him" and I was the reason she had headaches all the time. It was made very clear to me that no matter what I did, there was no hope for me. Because I missed so much school I never had the chance to form any friendships and any friends I had previously were no longer allowed to hang out with me especially not at my house. As I entered high school I was so desperate to make any friends I turned to drinking and drugs. I had also stopped attending school all together. At 16 my mother changed the locks to her house and informed me I would not be getting a key. My father at this point had lost everything due to his drug addiction and was homeless. After staying with a few older "friends" (who, in their 20s, had no business being friends with a 16 ye old) I had saved enough money for my own apartment. I allowed my father to stay with me for a while until I gave him money to move across country to my grandparents. I returned to high school and graduated in less than a year. At 18, I moved to be closer to my father. With his sobriety I learned how to overcome my own demons. While still trying to find my own way, I became pregnant. I gave birth to my daughter at 19 knowing fully her father would not be around. She saved my life. Drugs, drinking, partying, had no meaning to me. I've worked hard, trying to give her a better life. She's 5 yrs old and starting kindergarten in the fall. Along the way, when she was 1 1/2 yrs old, I was blessed with meeting a wonderful man. He has shown nothing but love to both of us. We are in a beautiful home, with stable careers, engaged, and now expecting our son this fall! I guess in all, I've dealt with a lot. But if you stay strong, work hard, and do what's right, the sky's the limit. I know I have some baggage/flaws but I count myself blessed for growing up that way and not letting it pull me down. Things could have been worse but thank you for reading. I've never shared my full story with anyone except my fiancé. I hope maybe it could help someone someday...
Toughmama Toughmama
2 Responses May 16, 2012

Thank you for your story it gives me the motivation to live on and never take things for granted ,, most of all I would like to thank you for being a responsible mother, and not giving your child up ,,, you have faced your demons and showed them you were above them and strong even though they tormented you ,, my gosh thank you! You are wonderful

thank you for your story! it helped me :)