I Wanna Get Over My Best Friend :-(

Now here's the thing .. I'm in love with my best best friend but he doesn't feel the same .. i know he cares about me a lot but he's not in love with me and he will never think of me as someone who can share his life with  ..

now i don't know what to do  .. my feelings are like this: i wanna see him all the time - i wanna be with him all the time - i wanna talk to him all the time - and in the past month i haven't seen him but once and i was completely depressed and sad

i saw him yesterday and when the time came for me to leave i felt like " no no i don't wanna leave u - i don't know when I'm gonna see u again  "

and today I'm gonna go out of my mind because i wanna see him again and because i know he's hanging out with his friends and i feel so envious

I have discussed it once with him of the possibility for us to be together and he believes that we're not suitable for each other, our lives will be hard on us if we got married (and to be honest when i think with my mind i some how feel the same) .. he cares a lot about me as his best close friend and that's why we're trying to stay a bit away from each other so i don't get attached to him more than that and he doesn't want to break my heart if he found the girl of his dream and married her

i really don't know what to do he's been and still is so good to me .. taking really good care of me and supporting me and i haven't felt this way for a very long time

i wanna be his friend till the end but i really need to get over him emotionally . i don't wanna feel that i miss him so much all the time like that .. this feeling is really killing me

LostRomance LostRomance
26-30, F
7 Responses Mar 9, 2009

or if u wanna be sneaky show him what hes missing!! know what i mean girl??? hes a bloke at the end of the day!!!!

i know it's the right decision but it's too difficult to take specially like when u said that becoming close friends makes us understanding each other more and feel more close to each other and that makes it more difficult to take such a decision :-(<br />
oh God help me in this one .. before taking the decision and begin to have a good space between me and him, i have to prepare myself for the pain i will go thru :-( and i feel i'm not ready for that yet

These are always the worse situations. lostbird is right, it is best to focus on building a life out of him. It is going to be a difficult decision but you have to decide the amount of space you should have between yourself and him.<br />
<br />
And Sillymoo28 is right about the sacrificing to avoid possible pain.<br />
<br />
Man and Woman friendships are sometimes the most complicated ones. Because friendship bonding can easily be mistaken for feelings of romantic love. Especially since through these friendships they can usually understand each other better then their own relationships with their spouses. <br />
<br />
Good luck in your situation. Just focus on, and take good care of yourself, and you'll get through this pain!

yes .. i know what u'r saying is true and u r 100% right when u said "If you feel this way when he is away, just think how you would feel if you were seeing him everday.... and he didn't want to be with you... Or seeing him on a regular basis if he did find someone new... I think that would be much more soul crushing..."<br />
<br />
God help us all and thanks alot for ur sweet words and ur hugs .. u just made me feel that i'm not alone that there r ppl who really cares about me even if they don't know me for real<br />
<br />
my heart goes out to u as well in ur situation and i hope u get over whatever u r going thru these days

Give it time......heal yourself first. You don't have to meet anyone new just yet.<br />
I know how painful this is.

thank u so much lostbird .. u have no idea how ur words mean to me<br />
u r right and that's what i'm trying to do .. i keep reminding myself all the time that we are not going to end up together<br />
but to be honest with u i don't feel like wanting to meet anyone new these days .. u see i'm a divorced woman and i was already have lost my trust on men since the divorce but for him, he was an exception<br />
<br />
thanks again for ur words (hugs)

You have my sympathies on this one...it is very hard but you have to enjoy the friendship for what it is, and remind yourself of all the reasons why it wouldn't work.<br />
It might be scaring him a little that you are needing him so much for your happiness and he might not feel able to handle the responsibility! Men seem to like confident happy women...so do your best to build a life away from him, and hopefully you can eventually meet someone who can love you for who you are.Meanwhile relax and enjoy your friend when you get to see him then let him go. ((hugs)) I hope things work out for you.