I Cried Today

So this is last cycle my insurance will pay for and it just seams everything is going against me. Tuesday I picked up specimens from the facilualty. The package is good for 5 days or you have to have it repacked. Tuesday I start the daily blood work to determine my LH levels. The results come back level 9. The call usually comes in about 11:30-12:00. Wesnday I go again same level. Thursday the result was 19 ok we are getting some where but there yet. Today I go in for my blood work and noon rolls by no call . Then 1 still no call. At this point I start calling the nurse for results no answer leave the message. At this point I start to worry the tank is only good for 1 more day and the ***** bank is not open on the weekends so if I don't get the surge today I won't be able get the tank repacked for the weekend. There is $900 down the drain and it is my last vial. I call again at 1400 leave a voicemail and again at 1500. By the time 15:30 rolls around I am in full panic mood. I call the secretary to get my results she transfers me to the nurses phone. Now I was getting pissed I called back told the receptionist to get me a real person to talk. She said all she could do was take a message and make sure the nurse got it. I hung up with her. At this point I am at work sitting in my car starting to feel overwhelmed and desperate, frantic angry and just plan loss for hope. The tears just started falling then the body racking sobs. I was crying so hard making the loud noises, Muccus started conjesting my nose. I cried for a good 15 minutes this way. I realized my coworkers at the picnic tables could hear me. I stopped took a couple of deep breathes got out of my car and head straight to the bathroom so I could wash my face and put cool water on my blood shot eyes. While I was in the bathroom
The nurse finally called me back. The LH had surged to 50 so tomorrow I can go in and have the IUI. I could use a hug right now still have not shaken the sad feeling. 06/01/12- Well this donor IUI cycle didn't work and when I got my period on Monday I cried and cried for forty minutes. The sadness is tha hardest part to shake. I wish I could just become pregnant and not have to be so hard
Supervixen76 Supervixen76
31-35, F
6 Responses May 11, 2012

Thank you very much for your suggestions. I would love to go to a a spa for a day

I wish you the best of luck, and tons of baby dust! Maybe take a relaxing day to yourself. Go to the spa, grab your favorite lunch and a movie with a friend, focus on being stress free for a day. And try not to over think it (I know it's hard as hell not the think about it) but see if relaxing and stress free makes it easier for you.

it can take time but it will be worth it in the end

I hope so we have been trying for so long it seams impossible

what are you looking for in way of donors? why are you stress

Stressed because of all the coordination it takes .

I actually been talking to a couple of volunteers for that. I just can't believe how stressfully it all has been

there other ways to get pregnant beside iui more do it your slef way just need to find a ai donor and have him *** in a *** when your lh surged. i have donated a few times and had happy healthy babys