The One Minute Superblowjob

The ******* is the most misunderstood, misinterpreted, misconceived and misused sex act in all humanity. So I thought I'd clear a few things up.

 

Let's start by correcting an important misconception. Women can get a lot of sexual excitement from giving oral ... but not from the physical sensations of it. What excites us is NOT the feeling of a penis in our mouths per se, but the feeling of what our mouths do to the penis. This may seem like a subtle play on words, but it makes a vital point. In giving oral, a woman gets off on how she gets the penis off. So one big mistake women make when giving a ******* is to search for pleasure in the feeling of having a **** in her mouth. The real pleasure comes from how the **** responds to her mouth. If she focuses on that, she will get BIG thrills from giving oral. This leads to common mistake #1.

 

Common Mistake #1 - missing out on initial erection. Most women initiate sex by making out, petting, grinding, etc, then they go to oral. That's a mistake. Immediately upon the onset of a sexual encounter, go right for oral while the penis is still soft. Take it in your mouth, clamp your lips around the base, and, WITHOUT MOVING YOUR HEAD, press your tongue against the frenulum (that little crevice on the underside of the head of the penis) and slowly drag it up and down. You will feel the blood engorge the spongiform tissues in his penis, you'll feel the shaft lengthen and the head harden. Do this until the penis is at full erection, then go to making out, petting, feeling-up, etc. Although he'll love this, forget what he feels - this is a nice sensation for you. And that leads to common mistake #2.

 

Common Mistake #2 - worrying about HIS pleasure. Don't concern yourself with his pleasure. Your goal should be to thrill YOU not him. That said, however, he will like it. But that's not your concern. Of the thousands of ******** I gave I never once considered his pleasure as part of it, and yet the only time a man ever pulls out of my mouth is when he needs to ****. The thing is - you have to do it right. And that leads to common mistake #3.

 

Common Mistake #3 - assuming a ******* is all about the mouth. It's not. Actually oral copulation provides a very weak ****** inducing sensation to a penis. Let's take a look at some data. About a year ago I did a scientific study of how effective various sex acts are. The study was conducted by having a statistically large number of swinger women (including myself) performing a variety of sex acts to completion on a statistically large number of men, and comparing the length of time between the onset of the stimulation and the moment of the first ***** squirt. The operational definition for "sexually effective" is this length of time, the shorter the more effective. This was done using a "double blind" technique. This means that the ONLY variable was the sex act. Neither the male nor female had any other form of stimulation, physical or ever social.

 

How was this done? By using a gloryhole. A gloryhole is a penis sized hole cut in a wall separating two dark rooms. The male stands alone in one room and inserts his penis through the hole. The female, alone in the other room, then performs a sex act on the penis to completion. A gloryhole affords the ultimate in depersonalization in that it reduces BOTH partners to no more than their sex organs.

 

Giving oral through a gloryhole is straightforward. However, vaginal or anal intercourse has to be done correctly. The only convenient way to take a penis vaginally through a gloryhole is by bending forward and pressing your backside against the hole. The main concern, however, is to make sure the penis goes in straight and deep without any bending. This is done by adjusting the height of your ***** by standing on a footstool of the appropriate height. The angle of your vaginal tube is optimized by leaning forward 90 degrees, bracing yourself on the chest of a standing assistant in the room with you.

 

For my experiments, vaginal intercourse was always done bareback. I noticed a subconscious tendency for me to readjust the angle of my torso slightly upwards to force the penis into my G-spot. I had to fight that tendency for the purpose of this experiment, thus allowing the penis to push straight in without giving it any angular discomfort.

 

Anal intercourse through the gloryhole was done by copiously lubricating the inside of the anus and between the butt cheeks with Astroglide, then pressing the butt against the hole. Again care was taken to make sure the penis does not need to bend in order to penetrate. As the rectum takes a 45 degree turn just past the anal sphincter, the female needs to bend about 130 degrees forward.

 

This experiment was done over a two week period in a sex club in Toronto, and involved 50 men and 6 women (including myself). Any penis that was not fully erect at the onset, or never got fully erect, was not included in the data set. And here are the results of the average time between onset of stimulation and the first orgasmic *** squirt: Vaginal intercourse: 47 seconds. Anal intercourse: 85 seconds. *******: 98 seconds. ******* (mouth only): 314 seconds.

 

As you can see, the ******* is actually the least effective ****** inducer. So why do men rave about it so much? The reason is purely psychological. The visual cues of a woman being in such an extremely submissive position excites the male psychologically more than the sensation on the penis excites him tactilely. By removing that cue via the gloryhole, all that's left is the physical sensation, and this affords a much more analytical result. While on the topic of psychological contributions to the male ******, the Fleshlight (a silicone-based artificial vagina) comes in at 80 seconds, more effective than a rectum. So a GOOD ******* can't be all about the mouth. And this leads to common mistake #4.

 

Common Mistake #4 - no ****** inducing senstation. If you only rely on your mouth he will eventually ***, but hell, a guy can *** by ******* a hole in a concrete wall too. That doesn't mean it's any good. And the frailness of the ****** he gets won't do much for you either. So here's the trick - a ******* is really a *******. Look at the data I presented above. A ******* is actually a very effective *** maker - almost as effective as anal intercourse. By supplementing a ******* with a simultaneous *******, you can ********* a **** as effectively as *****. And this leads to common mistake #5.

 

Common Mistake #5 - too much too soon. The typical way a woman gives a ******* involves her head bobbing wildly up and down, spit flying out of her mouth, and little snorting sounds emanating from her nose. I got news for you - this is exactly the WRONG thing to do. What you're doing with that is actually desensitizing the penis. Have you ever had a guy stop you in the middle of a *******, maybe make out for a while, then have you continue the *******? What he's REALLY doing is allowing his **** to re-sensitize because you're killing it ... and not in a good way!

 

The right thing to do is to ration the ****** inducing sensation, starting weak and gradually bringing the intensity up. Every time the penis acclimatizes to a given level of stimulation (I'll teach you how to detect this), you increase the level a little more. In this way, the penis will build steadily to ****** without "stepping backwards". That's the theory. Now here's how to put it in practice.

 

Step 1: Make sure he has a rock solid erection. If he doesn’t, make out and let him feel you up until he does.

 

Step 2: With your hand around the base of the penis, slide your mouth down the entire length of the penis ONCE, depositing a lot of spit on the shaft. Pull back slowly and gently, and while doing so, allow copious spit to drool into your hand. If possible, try to get a gob of that slimy stuff from a nasal sinus. I know that sounds disgusting, but that stuff is the best **** lubricant ever made. Giving a proper ******* is a very messy ordeal, so if you don’t like mess, forget it.

 

Step 3: You’re now going to apply an increasing gradation of ******-inducing stimuli to the penis.

            Level 1 – form a ring with your thumb and index finger, keeping your other three fingers extended. This should look like you’re giving the “A-OK” gesture. Now, with your three extended fingers pointing towards you, slide that ring slowly over the head of the penis and all the way down the shaft. Your hand should be well lubricated with spit. The downward stroke should take about one second. As soon as the finger ring reaches the base, open your hand up (releasing the penis), wait about one second, then do it again. At this point you’re not doing a reverse stroke, just a downward one. Pay close attention to the reaction of the penis. Pay NO attention to the man’s face, sounds, or anything he says. On each stroke the head of the penis will bloat slightly and the man’s hips will reflex slightly forward. He’s going to try to increase the rhythm by pumping his hips faster. DON’T FOLLOW THAT LEAD. Keep up this two second stroking until the bloating in the head start to subside. This should take about 10 strokes.

 

            Level 2 – gently close your other three fingers around the penis and continue the stroking, but at twice the frequency and with no delay between strokes. On each downward stroke your pinky should glide past the head just as the index finger/thumb ring reaches the base. At the end of each stroke press hard against the base. If you do this right, his hips will react by pushing equally hard against your hand, the shaft will harden, and the head will bloat markedly with each push. Again release the penis and stroke downward again. NEVER PULL ON A PENIS. Penises like to be pushed against, stroked downward, and protrude through things, but they HATE being yanked on. Continue this until the head no longer bloats as much at the end of each push. This should take another 10-15 strokes.

 

            Level 3 – continuing this motion and rhythm, at the end of each stoke you should have the entire head of the penis and, depending on his length, one or more inches of shaft past the coronal ridge protruding through the pinky side of your hand. Now, with wet lips and a lot of spit in your mouth, glide your lips slowly over the head, and all the way down until your lips are pressed against the pinky side of your hand. The man’s hips will reflex way forward and you’ll feel the head bloat widely in your mouth. With your lips sealed tightly against the penis and your tongue pressing firmly on the frenulum, pull your head slowly back and let your lips “snap” over the coronal ridge. Then GENTLY glide your hand all the way up the shaft and over the head. NEVER pull on the penis, just let your hand glide in the spit. Do this same motion every half second – all the way downward with the hand, then downward with the mouth, then upward with the mouth, then upward with the hand. Do this until he goes preorgasmic. What you’re looking for is a CONTINUOUS bloating of the head (not just at the end of the downward stroke) and a “Clorox-like” taste. This is precum and is emitted about half way through the preorgasmic stage. Depending on the guy, this could take anywhere from 50 to 200 strokes, but on average he should go preorgasmic about 45 seconds after starting Level 3.

 

            Level 4 – at this point he is at the “point of no return”. He is feeling an ****** approaching and he can’t stop it. Now you need to act quickly. Open your hand to form that “A-OK” gesture again, and slide it all the way down to the base. Now squeeze the base gently to lock the blood in his penis. The shaft will harden like rock and the head will bloat and turn purple. Don’t worry about harming him – this is normal and he is now in heaven. Now grip the penis in your lips tightly, press your tongue against the frenulum firmly, and slide your mouth all the way to the base (with enough practice you’ll overcome your gag reflex), and, while holding your head perfectly still, stroke the frenulum up and down with the back of your tongue. If he doesn’t *** in five seconds, do it again – downward stroke with finger-ring, full downward stroke with mouth, massage the frenulum with back of tongue, and again wait five seconds for ***********. If he still doesn’t *** do it again. He should *** on the first or second time you do this. If he doesn’t *** on the fourth attempt, it means he wasn’t really preorgasmic, and you should go back to Level 3 for a while.

 

But you’ll know when you got him because during those five seconds a lot of things are going to happen and YOU’RE going to love it. First, you’ll feel the blood engorge the shaft and you’ll feel a marked pressure against your fingers as they grip the base. You’ll feel the head bloat like a balloon in the back of your mouth. Five seconds before a man **** his abdominal and gluteus muscles tighten causing his legs to quiver subtly, and causing him to slightly double over.  You’ll know when this is “it” because those five seconds will have a mysteriously “tense” feel to them.

 

            Level 5 – in this position he will *** in the back of your mouth, so be prepared for that. If you don’t expect it, it may trigger a gag reflex. The first squirt will be very strong and may actually go down your throat. Fight the urge to pull your tongue back to block the *****. Instead, keep the back of your tongue pressed firmly on the frenulum, and continue its slow up and down motion. DON’T MOVE YOUR HEAD. And don’t worry about him pushing his **** down your throat. When a man is *********** he actually loses his ability to push forward with any strength. Continue all this, including your grip at the base, until his *********** is completely over. A typical man ********** for about 35 seconds from a *******.

 

And that’s it! That’s the way to give a powerful *******. Some variations on this theme include doing it through a gloryhole (very exciting for both parties), denying him an ****** by “hinting” at Level 4 only to stop completely for a few seconds (keeping him preorgasmic as long as he can take it), or using your vagina instead of your mouth at Level 4. Do the ***** trick through a gloryhole and the poor **** won’t know what hit him.

galanga galanga
46-50, F
10 Responses Mar 6, 2010

Ah ok, now I get it. I don't have anyone to try it on at the moment - damn - I'm soon to be single again so I'm honing my skills and learning new things. :) Thank you.

Hi galanga,<br />
<br />
Love your writing and am learning a great deal from it. <br />
<br />
In your 'how to' on the superblowjob, in Step 3 level 1 you say to have your thumb and forefinger in the 'A ok' symbol having your other three fingers facing towards you then in level 2 have your pinky glide past the head just as the index finger/thumb ring reaches the ba<x>se . This seems upsidedown/ backwards to me and I can't quite see the position you would need to be in relation to his penis.<br />
<br />
It seems like the pinky would reach the ba<x>se first? Can you help me out here, I want to learn your technique. Oh, it must be when you face each other? Does the direction of your hand matter? I understand what you mean by no pulling, only push, that's not where I'm confused.<br />
<br />
Thanks in advance,<br />
<br />
KellySeven

Hi Kelly,
Thank you for reading my writing. Yes you're right, the pinky goes to the base first, but if you keep your three fingers extended they "scrunch" over the pubic bone and you can get the index/thumb ring all the way down to the base. Try it on your guy and let me know how it works for him.

unfortunately not enough women commenting on this. more should be taking notes.

wow, so informative and complete, love a great analysis specially when supported by data... it is not very common to find a scientific study of this by the nature of the theme, but this gets as close to a scieentific experiment as you can get, without loosing its erotic charm...<br />
<br />
And you are right about one more thing... if you enjoy he will enjoy as demostrated by the great **** obtained in your experiments... so I disagree with discalced, the best thing here is how you say you enjoy it so much, many woman are yet to discover these pleasures and they openly tell us tehy are missing this element you totally nailed in the head here... and you are helping us all ... thanks<br />
<br />
I got so aroused by your scientific desc<x>riptions... lol<br />
<br />
Kiss<br />
Escondido

can I help you with your study?

wow gr8 info . got the wife up to read this we will see how it goes tonight :)

Yes! Very good and informative. Thanks for sharing.

Wow! Thank you for the tips. I'll have to read it a few times and try it in practice. Would you mind if I printed a copy out?

Well, now I know what I've been missing, sounds mind blowing.

Well, now I know what I've been missing, sounds mind blowing.