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More Than Anything

I've been so at the edge of falling lately. I really feel like giving up.
I am sick and tired of everything that is in my life. I hate being this lonely and I hate being this helpless.
I feel worthless...this emotional pain seems to suffocate me and all i wish for is to stop. And i'm on the edge of giving up more than ever.
I truly wish i saw the light at the end of the tunel. To feel a helping hand on my shoulder. To have a friendly hug with someone saying that everything is going to be okay.
I truly wish for something good to happen.
There was a time when all i could say was that i'm in such a bad situation that it can only get better after it. But it got worse and worse and now i don't keep my hopes high. All i say is that it can always get worse. I hope for the ebst but i expect the wrost..
I just want to feel happy..to be able to put a smile on my face.
I don't want to give up, I don't want to end it, I don't want to choose the easier way..but I feel like soon there will be no other choice on my list.
BlackDiamondFairy BlackDiamondFairy 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 6, 2011

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I feel your pain. I'm going through a similar situation. It seems that no matter how hard I try to be positive and how much effort I put into changing my situation, nothing seems to work for me. I read tons of self-help books, I look at myself candidly to ensure that I achieve maximum growth...but I just can't seem to get ahead. I'm desperately seeking happiness, but it eludes me.

in one book i have read- the quantity of sufferings and happines is mesured for every person when he is born and u willl get what u are to get....i thunk for me was mesured 90 percents of suffeings

Behind your smile, I know there are sorrows.<br />
Behind your laughters, I know there are tears.<br />
<br />
But I want you to know that, behind you is me who always care for you.<br />
Gods' love is great