Sea Glass

 

 

I ran on the beach today.

 

The sun shone onto the water and reflected pure light onto everything. 

It was like something from a dream.

 

I was suddenly ten years old again...carefree and happy just to run along the water's edge with a dog right beside me.

 

I used to be so free.  What happened to make me grow up?

 

Today at the beach, I felt more alone then I have in a long time.  I know that there are still people in the world who know me, and maybe even enjoy being around me...but it's not the same.

 

It's not the same as having someone care about you -to really care.  The feeling of being warm and happy inside is no longer there. 

 

When you're younger, the life you radiate is irresistible to others, and people seem drawn to you.  That still happens to me now, but only on rare occasions when I let my guard down and become free.

 

Why have I become so guarded?  Why does it matter if I am discovered for who I really am?  What am I trying to hide?

 

When did I change from a carefree girl into a frightened young woman?

Maybe all of life's dreams and hopes have been reached, and they, like the sun shining on the ocean...have reached their fullest potential, only to sink back down into the darkness.

 

As I splashed through the dark shallows, I remembered a girl ten years younger and so different doing the same thing. 

I realized that I am still the same person I always have been.  I am still a girl who wants to have hope and life and dreams come true....I want to play in the waves and feel the ocean on my skin and play with a dog who loves the ocean as much as I do.

 

True, I am older and in theory I should be wiser...but maybe I'm not so different.  I think that the only thing that has changed is time.  Ten years a few broken hearts and shattered dreams later....I am still the same.

 

I am the same -but different.  I am different in a way that is hard to describe.

 

I still want to have dreams and special days, I still want to live for tomorrow.

 

It shouldn’t matter.  Why should I feel sad for something so wonderful?

 

It's different though, because the days that were, are no longer. 

I can't help but cry whenever I think of the good times gone.

 

Is it better to have loved and lost, or to have never loved at all?

 

Perhaps life is a bit like the ocean, and the waves and storms break you, sun shines and warms you, but you are still who you are.

 

I found some green sea glass on the sand. They had been beaten by the waves, and tossed upon the sand for all to see.

 

 

Only those who are looking for beauty in the sands can see the tiny glass creations.

 

Only those who are looking for beauty will find it.

stormynightsky stormynightsky
22-25, F
11 Responses Feb 23, 2009

Thank you for writing this. I am still the same person inside...I just need to unlearn this way I have developed of putting my guard up - relearn my freedom.<br />
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It's funny how you remind me of John Frusicante again :')

Bohemianbeauty.....thank you for saying that. You have no idea how much your comment encouraged me. I feel that it is part of my purpose on earth to help others, and I do it in whatever way I can. If it is spending time with someone, or writting things to encourage and show others truth. Sometimes though we often forget and loose sight of the improtance of the little things we do. I believe everyone has gifts and potential, and agree that we should never foreget them. <br />
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"It's not what we take when we leave, but what we have given." So true. I know that God has given everyone a chance to know Him...and a chance to become what they were intended to be. <br />
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If only people could realize this......

i am in ore of your writings,they are incredible, i gain so much from reading them .thank u for allowing me to read them.this is your gift to everyone that is lucky enough to read them.Never forget this about yourself...never forget the gifts that u have given.....its not what how many gifts you recieve no its about how many u give.

the memories of my youth are clouded and there are large places where the sun has blocked out any veiw that i may have had,in those moments im sure that darkness had desended blocking out all recognition.I do how ever remember the beach on a stormy winters day in my youth where the ocean was intermoial ,where a gail blew,passionate and powerful..i watched as it chopped up the ocean and moved the aged trees along the coast.I stood in conteplation and ore at the enormaty of our world.I had relized how the ocean was uncontrollable in its enormaity and relized how insignificant i was......there are many things that we will never be able to control, the world around us,our pasts........freedom is somthing that can never be taken away or given for as long as we have no control of the world around us ,our eviroment ,there will always be the reminder that we are apart of this ever changing and unpredictible world, there 4 at any moment our lives can be swept up and changed 4 ever by the unforseen forces of this world....faith is all that is needed...faith in the way ....faith in the belief that things are as they should be atm....faith in what ever u wish yours to be as nothing is a coincedence, everything is placed in the right moment every challange and every helping hand.....i believe....i belive and have faith....to believe and have faith is freedom.IF YOU LOOSE SITE JUST LOOK UP AT OUR SKY AND BE IN ORE AT ITS ENORMATY AND UNCONTROLLABILITY,ITS BEAUTY...Then u find your faith again.Thank u for reminding me of this moment that i had in my youth

That is very interesting!!!!

:) thanks! i've always found life and the ocean to be kinda similar:)..i read in a dalai-lama thingy that the way you describe the ocean is also the way u describe ur life...

Oh.... thanks for your comment!!!<br />
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I like your description of the ocean, comparing it to life! :D

beautiful...this one's well-written:). (i like ur avatar!)<br />
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life's full of twists and turns, and like the ocean, it's raging...but still, definitely beautiful, amidst all those storms and waves...<br />
(hugs!)

Awww brimliner...thanks for that....you made my day. Maybe even my week. :D<br />
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(I usually don't feel like I am that good though)

Loved this comment! I think you're probably the only person who has bothered to read my story, so thanks for the message! :D<br />
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Yes, you're pretty close about the actual meaning behind it. I didn't think anyone would be able to read through the obvious.<br />
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"...the ultimate love and freedom, no bondages!" <br />
That's exactly what I was trying (rather pathetically) to describe.<br />
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It's also describing how sad life can be when you loose your hope...and perspective; as I always do. That's why is it important to focus on God. "In whom are all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge hidden......"

wow it's like a dream what you're talking about..... Is it like a dream that feels so close you can almost grasp it...and then it slips away, always just beyond you? Like chasing a rainbow or a sunset! It's like the ultimate love and freedom, no bondages! It's our experience that bonds us! In a way we know more....but does that make us wise....? I have found the more I stick to God's way of things, the more of that freedom I have got back...I do empathise with you though....I have childhood of memories from the beach to! I feel like I've gone off on one again with my long messages!