Need to Be a Mom


I am 24 years old and in a serious realationship of 4 years.  Everything is perfect except one thing, I want to have a baby but he doesn't.  I know i have lots of time and everything but sometimes i want it soo badly i can't breath.  I cry myself to sleep everytime another friend gets pregnant.  He keeps saying he is not ready yet.  Who is ever ready for a baby though really?  The more i talk about it the more annoyed he gets.  I don't know what to do anymore...

Auntieof5 Auntieof5
13 Responses Jun 13, 2009

im a soon to be 58 year old guy,and took care of my mom for 26 years,and people tell me to forget it im too old and sick to father children and get married,and this desire has been with me for 35 years.the only thing i can consider a consolation is everyday that passes im one day closer to leaving this craphole.

You may love him, but if he does not want a child, he probably never will. I have a friend who married someone who didn't want kids and after over five years of marriage, when she got pregnant and had a baby, he wanted nothing to do with it. You have to decide if being with him is more important than having a child.

It annoys me reading people that are telling you "you're too young" and telling you there a big responsibility.. Jesus.. Like you don't already know that? Age shouldn't matter I'm 20 and i want one more than anything in the world.. And people tell me the same boring things all the time, i know what it takes to have a kid i am ready, My sister has a kid and she says it's the best thing that's ever happened to her!. It's so worth getting up in the night for!<br />
I wouldn't sleep! i would just sit by the cot watching my baby all night, I would do anything Iv'e told my boyfriend i would even eat meat again if the doctor told me i have to so the baby gets the right nutrients.. <br />
This is why i don't like to tell people about my deep desire to have a child.. Because they always say i'm either too young, Or not ready or both.. <br />
And they have no idea how i feel!

I'm a father of two, and reading your post brought up similar memories for me. I'm in my 30's now, but with two beautiful little daughters who are just the joy of my whole world.

In my early 20's, had I caved in to what my parents thought, I would have never got to see the joys that being a proud papa of a newborn brings to the heart.

Sadly, I got my heart broken when I learned that the mother of my two kids wanted to have the kids and run away with them, divorce me, and basically have a free ride from child support to government assistance.

Luckily, I caught on to her plan and won custody of my kids in the divorce, and I feel very lucky - except for one thing:

I always wanted to have the experience of conceiving a child with a woman who loved me and the idea of conceiving a child with all her heart, mind, body, and being. I desperately hope to find a woman who would be willing to have just one more child with me under those conditions.

But guess who dissents? You guessed it.. My parents. They think two is enough for me. They're entitled to an opinion, but I'm a successful man with the means to support, and even my daughters want a baby brother or sister!

Bottom line - you should listen to the feedback of others, but always go with what is in your heart of hearts. If you want something like this so bad, and you already know the hard parts of being a parent and are also prepared for the responsibility involved, don't let anyone make the choice for you.

If your heart and mind are ready, they don't lie to you. I truly hope that you find what you desire inside your being. You're a woman, which means you carry the roll of eternity within you; the perpetuity of life.

That's an amazing gift that you made to bring something beautiful into your life, and if raised well, the world will be a better place -- for what you sacrificed and gave of yourself in the process of carrying part of the next generation in your body, dealing with the aches and pains as well as the joys of the transformation.

Making new life with the full desire to do so means you are full of love. You strike me as the kind of woman that has the inner strength to share that love with the rest of the world by wanting to add new life too it.

Don't ever let people's negative opinions on the matter stand between you and that love.

You've been together for 6 years altogether? 6 years is a long time, I don't think I could wait another 5 years, no freaking way.... But have you had any luck talking to him more about it? Cause I think if you guys are okay financially, then he has no excuse putting it off anymore. Unless there are some deep subconscious feeling he has which make him not wanna have kids or scared to have kids, which he's not telling you about. Otherwise I don't know why he would be so annoyed when you bring it up.

Well its 2 years later and I'm still with him and still no babies! :(

Well its 2 years later and I'm still with him and still no babies! :(

I know exactly how you feel. I am in the same boat. The thing is, I am younger than you and I havent been with my husband for as long as 4 years yet, so I guess I have no right to feel like I really want to have a baby soooo badly, but yet I still do. You just can't help to feel how you feel. I think that if you really want a baby with him you two can compromise on the timing if you both love each other. Its just hard to figure out when you're ready, and I agree with you on that no one is ever trully ready. I wish I had real advice to give to you, but I am in the exact same postion myself, so all I can say is I wish the best for you and I hope you get to have a baby soon

if u really want to get impregated email me

i am in the same boat my dear. My boyfriend does not want to have children now but i badly do. I cry almost every night about it. And i have told him, if i do get pregnant and you do not want the child or want me to have an abortion, i will hate you forever and leave and will not return until you are ready to be a father but you not gonna stand in my way.<br />
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I speak to him about it almost everyday and makes him feel guilty. I dont want him to feel that way but it makes me feel better. How can you love something so much that doesnt even exist. I love my baby, and i cant wait to meet him whenever he comes. Im speaking as if im pregnant, but im not. Its just so sad.

I think you should just give him more time to be ready. You're still so young. Just try and confirm with him that he at least eventually wants to have children and then see what happens a little further down the road.

i know how you feel my fiance is the same way we can talk about every thing else except babies.. it really does hurt i know what you're going through

Can you live without your boyfriend? <br />
If you keep on at him you will push him away and you will have too. <br />
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Let things happen naturally don't force the issue your still young. <br />
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Talk to him again in 6months - 1 year. Then see how he feels.<br />
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If he still doesn't want a baby by then decide if you want to stay in the relationship and remain childless until he is ready, or you can move on.<br />
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Having kids is a big responibility he's right to be cautious. <br />
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I wish you luck and I hope you work it out.

you should get pregnant. let me know if i can help