Emptiness And Alone

I was scared shitless in that clinic office. I took the pills and out went the baby. For days i felt the cramps and the sadness. It made me feel... empty. We talked for days afterwards about how I made the right choice. He wanted me to be happy and proud of my choice. And I felt so happy.

But then I saw the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. She was gorgeous and she made me happy and laugh and made the world so much better. I then felt the emptiness of my womb and the tears fell uncontrollably. i knew as he held me close that now more than ever, I want to have a baby.

I want to have a baby. I want to try and make a baby. Hopefully my boyfriend would be okay with it. I don't know what to do. but i know more than ever what I want.
LoganR22 LoganR22
18-21, F
1 Response May 7, 2012

I can completely relate. I had a surgical abortion & I forced myself to believe I was ok with it for a year. But every time I see a pregnant woman or someone with a baby I can't help but admire it. <br />
I keep telling myself that I will one day fulfill that dream to be a mom & that's what I live my life for and that's what makes me happy.<br />
It'll happen when the time is right. At least that's what I keep telling myself