Meeting For Coffee

I'm meeting for coffee and I do want this man but I have never did anything like this I don't want to be this girl, i don't know whats going on in his life I try hard not to talk about his wife or that area of his life

I don't know what the heck I am doing

I didn't meet him still want to would like to haven't talked to him in like 5 days and I miss him, I feel so bad I don't know what to do.


I didn't meet him I said this like 100 times. I don't think people should cheat or do anything dishonest to the person they are with, that being said some people are weak at times and cave in they do the wrong thing or are tempted to do the wrong thing with the wrong person. this is  my experience this is how I felt at the time,

For those of you reading this and feeling like oh how could she feel or have felt that way, and feel the need to say something unkind, know that just writing it, getting it out instead of bottling it up helped a lot. And in the end I will have to face my God and maybe his wife for the wrong I have done but your judgment is not needed

For those of you thinking about tread carefully and do some deep searching and if your married just think

Starbuck82 Starbuck82
31-35, F
13 Responses Feb 12, 2009

A true story movie I saw before:

A man and his wife had trouble in their marriage and she wasn't having sex with him. So he went out looking for someone else to have sex with. The marriage worked out. He forgot about the affair. The lover did not. She returned years later wanting him to finish what he started even though it was just one time they had sex. She killed his wife and stole their months-old baby in the hopes he would want to be with her if she had his baby. No one knew for the longest time who did it. She mailed him a picture of herself pretending to be pregnant with his child. He knew immediately she was the one responsible. The dead wife's family understandably lost trust and faith in him. One night of wanting sex with someone else killed his wife and almost killed his baby. All because he HAD to have sex instead of control his urges. I do not know if the family still has trouble trusting him since his infidelity cost them their loved one and almost another. Many think affairs are okay if people know what they are doing. Sometimes people die because of these things. It is never worth it. That precious baby has to grow up without her mother and who knows how she will feel when she finds out her dad's lover killed her mother. All because sex controlled the person instead of the person controlling the sex. It's not a case of judgment. It is a sad reality many do not stop to think about.

Another true story, the man had an affair with a woman when she had cancer and was sick. She recovered amazingly well and he returned to her. His lover was okay with the affair but then fell for him. She returned to him and his wife and his teen sons found out that while she was fighting for her life, he was off having sex with someone just cause she was too sick to have sex with. He ruined the trust his wife and his sons had in him. All because he wanted to have sex.

In another, the scorned lover framed the man really good all because she didn't want him to go back to his wife. What started out as a thoughtfully innocent affair from a man wanting sex turned into an obsessed woman wanting more and a loyal wife forgiving him and helping save him in the frame and killing the lover when the lover tried to kill her husband.

I'm not writing this to pass judgment to anyone. I am sure none of these lovers were born murderers or bad guys. They were consumed by the emotional side of sex while the men were consumed by the physical side. Some live to see the new day and some do not. Some get cut out of their families lives and some miraculously get forgiven. If the future you might not be able to handle any sort of negative aftermath from present you, it might be in the best interest of your heart and possibly your life to pursue other options.

Please be careful ! I am a married man (2nd time around), and have had affairs. I hate the feeling of looking over my shoulder all the time, but my wife has no passion for me at all. Hasn't for 10 1/2 years. That's how long we have been married. I just want to feel desired.

who says anyone is in the perfect marriage. You can meet the right person any day, should you walk away because you are married? Having an affair at least lets you discover if this person is the right one for you, or if single like in starbuck case, he might be there waiting for you, so go for it.<br />
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Just a warning though, is he just looking for some fun or is he serious about a relationship?

I met this guy at an event. My husband was with me, but as usual he was busy drinking and carrying on. I sparked up a conversation with a guy whom is 15 years older than me. He was funny, intelligent, handsome, attentive, and I just got lost in conversation with him. At the end of the night, and intoxicated but also knowing what I was doing, I kissed him and we both had the married moment that said "we shouldn't be doing this". Multiple fb and emails and we are having lunch this friday. I don't know if I should run the other way or throw caution to the wind and go for it. I am unhappy in my marriage of 9 years and have contemplated leaving a number of times. I know it is wrong to have an affair and I should leave my marriage first before doing anything this wreckless. God help me though, I just want to be with him again, to talk and get lost in him.

i am really curious why do women seek married men? and why do married men stay married instead of just getting a divorce?

Because of the kids.. If I didn't have kids I would have gotten divorced over 12 years ago.

I didn't seek him out we stumbled on to one another.... I was lonely and so was he and it just happened... there was a connection.

Thanks from a wife whose husband could be "that man"

Kay, <br />
i didn't meet him for many reasons, <br />
and even I was that girl it wouldn't be the end of the world <br />
at best it would make for a great story, <br />
I don't want anymore stories I want a life, so I do the right thing.

...if you don't want to be that girl...just ask yourself a simple question : why did you meet with him at all or what is a such interesting in him that it has attracted you ? Be honest with yourself...and I'm sure you will find the answer what you really want and with whom you really want to be:)<br />
Best wishes

I didn't meet him, and we talked about things that just made me feel great about who I wanted to become. He loved his wife there was something missing and I filled that for him. We don't talk anymore and I am sad about that cause he was there for me in a time i had no one and he got me. Again I never met him cause it was the wrong thing to do.

yeah if you feel bad about it, that's obviously your conscience (THAT'S A GOOD THING.), but that mean what you're doing is wrong. You don't have to be "that girl" if you don't want to. If I was you I would think about the wife, and try to think about what you would feel like if you were her.<br />
<br />
You're not a horrible person, we all have bad ideas every now and then. good luck girl! :)

til he is freed--interesting way to put it, lol! maybe she has him in lock-down.

If it is what get you through the day then go for it. Life is rough and a simple hello can make a world of difference.<br />
Good luck

starbuck,<br />
you're NOT HORRIBLE,<br />

You are making a big mistake, that's what you are doing.