Maybe

Do I want to have an affair, I'm not actually sure.  I think I would and I know I love firsts like the previous writer said.  There really is nothing like sweeping a woman off her feet...so why can't I just focus on my wife.  I don't know, I dont really like her but I feel stuck with her.  Having said that I still want to enjoy life and enjoy connecting with someone else on a whole other level besides just sexual.  I don't know how much sense that makes but here we are.
johnwad3 johnwad3
26-30, M
8 Responses Dec 18, 2006

Johnwad ~ What would you do to "sweep a woman off her feet?"<br />
<br />
Why won't you do that for your wife?

> You don't really like her but you feel stuck with her..<br />
> I am laughing at that....<br />
<br />
Thumbelina - it is more common than you think. I've been in situations like this myself. It does not apply to my current situation (funny, I like my wife more since I'm on EP...)

Exactly the same way I feel. I always try to explain to myself of the whole strange idea that I am still want a relationship with others more than sexual.<br />
The problem is you probably never find it, and probably never satisfied or be sure you find it, the process can be painful if the one you find doesn’t feel the same way, however, if you and the one do feel the same way, end of journey<br />
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You said you don’t like your wife in stead of you don’t love her. Mostly you havn’t met the one yet. For me I would say I don’t love my husband, because I am in so there must be some reason I am still with my husband, maybe that means stuck in your words.

I feel for you, i too had been stuck i have two children but chose to remain with him for their sake..my biggest mistake ever, i was teaching my daughter it was ok for a man to walk all over you....and my son was learning women are worthless. so i had a choice to make do i stay for the sake of my children or do i go start again and live with the anger my children would feel towards me...i chose the anger and it was the best move i ever made...yes it was hard to make the move, it was hard to feel my childrens anger but that was short lived they slowly began to understand and see their father for the first time and today they thank me for giving them a life of love and happiness and now all i get from them is "when are you going to find that man who will love you and treat you right" lol sweet kids...So i say think of you think of what is passing you by, what if you are not looking and the women of your dreams come's alone and you miss the opportunity...but if you see no way out i dont usually condone affairs but i say seek happiness anyway you can have the affair....i wish you luck..

I understand how you feel I had been married 20 years and look at my situation as being stuck. I have two young boys and no matter how I rationalize it I am the bad person to want to end things with my husband. They need him...I don't think I love him anymore but if I take that stand and leave my son would never forgive me. They are only 9 and 5 years old..they see us fight..especially the older and he always wants things to be better between us. It's Mother's day and he couldn't even pretend that everything is alright for the kids sake. He was an lonely child and indulge that for many year...we were married almost 10 year before we had kids. I wish I never did...now the ones paying for my mistake are my boys. I so want things to stop and keep wishing he would change...his drinks three to five bottles of wine a day...thats what he drinks in front us. Heaven knows how much he drinks before his comes home. The boys have watched me try to stop his drinking and fail miserably. He left us and threathen to taken all support for us away...the boys were mad at me for forcing him to stop or leave. My 9 year old was so upset he started to see a counselor at school. He wanted his dad and me to be work things out so I surcombed, apologized and sucked it up to my husband. I had to let things alone and let him drink all he wants... and join him so it doesn't make him feel that I am judging him and I approve. I thought it would make him happy...it did...but 2 weeks in..he started to attack me again. Telling me how judgemental I am and how all I want to do is change him. I thought was doing the extact opposite, that I had push aside everything I felt I should do to make things better at home. But all I still get is that I making him inadequate in every way and that I cause him to drink and be unhappy. How can I make things right for him? How can I leave without losing the respect of my boys and making them unhappy? I am stuck.

I totally understand. I don't like my husband very much but I feel stuck with him for several reasons. We don't have kids together but he has helped me raise my son (sort of) He has been in his life for the four years. My son lost his father when he was a year old to an autoaccident. I'm left alone often because of his work and I feel taken for granted.

it does makes sense cause thats how you feel... but before you do anything.... remeber there are consequences for your actions... and sometimes they suck! kiss kiss

You "don't really like her, but you feel stuck with her"! If you have children then I am impressed that you are staying with your wife. But if you are just drifting along together because it is easier to be unhappy in a familiar situation than make a break then you may be wasting eachother's time. Are you sure she still really likes you?