I Want To Have An Affair, But...

Here goes...I am 20 years married, fairly happy, no kids, we actually have great sex, but I have a huge crush on this guy and it has been for 8 or 9 months, I think about him sexually all the time, I mean day and night. We had a near encounter recently but he stopped it because I am married and he knows my husband. I really want him. He is a single player type, meaning he is a bartender and has one night stands regularly, so it's not like he is some goodie two shoes. I know he would have me at least once. I want him more than once. I don't know how to get in the position again to find his weak spot. Our first near encounter was a random 4am night out with my girlfriends then ran into him after he got off work, this scenario is hard to set up, I mean, I am impatient, and I need to be discreet.
Any advice or suggestions?

Not looking to hear from folks saying not to do it...
sally7 sally7
36-40, F
7 Responses Jan 18, 2013

Not sure. I'm in the same place, but it all has to be perfect. So I don't know if I ever would will

I'm available.....

My wife worked with a "player" (she called him that). I guess she wondered what she was missing knowing that he was laying all the attractive women at work (both single and married), so she let him **** her. They got together two more times, and that was the end of it. However, that didn't end her wanting to experience other men. If you successfully seduce this guy, you're probably going to start wanting other men as well, even though your husband is a good lover. Have you talked to him and explained that although you find him a good lover, you would enjoy a little variety. Some husbands become ever more ardent lovers when they know their wives are enjoying sex with other men.

Arrive at the bar he works late with some of your girlfriends, say hi to him then go off dancing or whatever. Around closing tell them you were ditched by your friends and need a ride, and have no $$$ for a cab - even ask him outright. Then let your intentions be known without doubt. You need to be the seducer so he can act helpless and "give in".

I want you to be my lover.

Be careful.. Because he's single he could tell someone and ruin your marriage... If you want to have an affair the safest kind is with someone with just as much to lose as you....

I love my husband too but I would not be with him anymore if it wasn't for the kids.. So consider walking away from your marriage to find happiness.

I've had so many crushes over the years that have come and gone so this obsession might go away... However I only ever acted on these feeling once... And it's ongoing.. And I do not regret it!! Just make sure you know what you want.

yup ,, find someone in the same situation, and the same amount to lose that assures security..

I am new to this site and just read your story. What is the situation now? Have you got with your fantasy man yet?

no, not yet, I'll fill you in, in a few hours when I have more time! :)

Thanks. I am looking forward to it. I have a fantasy woman that I am getting very close to and all I think about is sex with her 24-7.

I was just thinking about your story and was hope to hear about your up date.

Well, I have not lived out my fantasy. I think about him a hundred times a day. The funny thing is I am having really great sex with my husband and he is allowing me to have female lovers on my own, not in a 3-some like before. I wonder why I have this infatuation. I just saw him on Sunday, he knows very well what I am thinking. He is aquaintances with my husband. When we see each other in front of other people, we barely talk but have intense eye contact, at least I think it is intense, but if we have a minute when no one is around we totally chat. Although, he bartends, so I really only see him in that setting. I'm starting to give up hope, see the thing is, he is keeping his distance because I am married but I know he likes me...I wish I could get him out of my system!

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