Help Me!!

Hey guys, I'm on here because i need some advice.

I am 19 years old, engaged and living with my fiance. I don't exactly know if we are still in love with one another or if we are just used to eachother. Every now and then i get the urge to find someone new and see if there is anything else out there for me, but i don't want to leave my fiance until I have found someone else. Not necessarily someone to be with but someone to give me the things he doesnt give me anymore. I have had an affair with one guy in the 3 years i have been with my fiance. It was a guy that was 17 years older than me!! I don't feel any guilt in what i did. and i am glad i did it (wish it would have been with someone else lol). Now i am feeling that urge to have an affair again. I have signed up for a few different websites but haven't found exactly what it is im looking for yet. Maybe because I don't know exactly what im looking for. My fiance and I barely communicate with eachother. We don't spend any time together and when we are both in the same room its like only one of us is there. We have sex maybe once a week sometimes not even that one time. IM 19 YEARS OLD IT IS TOO SOON FOR THIS TO BE HAPPENING TO ME!!! lol please give me any advice you have for me that will help me in making the right decisions!! thank you for taking the time to read this =).

Lovey562 Lovey562
18-21, F
10 Responses Mar 14, 2010

You are not in love. You do not need to find another man before you leave your fiancee. You are a person in your own right, be brave and strong and do the right thing regarding your fiance and yourself - get out and live your own life.

do you have any updates? im curious

do you have any updates? im curious

I believe you answered your question yourself in the BOLD statement: "IM 19 YEARS OLD IT IS TOO SOON FOR THIS TO BE HAPPENING TO ME!!!"<br />
<br />
In Marriage communication is key. You are already not communicating and it's not even begun. Second why are you afraid of leaving your fiance and not having someone else? YOU ARE 19!! go party. have fun. experience life. quit being afraid of being alone, and being in love with the idea of being in love.<br />
<br />
Don't mean to sound harsh, but sometimes I'm a little blunt.

you are only 19 run run you have so much ahead,, there are several friends / lovers / buddys out there,,

Walk away and don't look back. When you find the right person it will become totally obvious. You'll want to share every detail of your day with him. He'll want to hear everything and anything you have to say and will in turn only ask that you do the same! Best of luck in the future! <br />
p.s. If ya wanna have an affair and still stay in the relationship.. give me a yell! LOL<br />
Bill in Va.

If you're not sure that you're in love, and you're looking for another person, then run! Run far and run fast. Because that feeling will only get stronger the further you get into your relationship.

I got married at 19 and I have many regrets. I didn't even know what true love was. I have found out since what it could possibly be. Very painful....I am only 28 and have a lot to learn yet, but honey I do think from what you say, if you're not sure if you are in love then you almost certainly are not. If you like him it will be hard to break up with him but do not mistake that for love. And I do think it would be a good idea to break your engagement before looking for somebody else. It will be a lot easier to find the right person for a relationship if you don't have another relationship to think about. Of course everybodys different and I'm sure you do things different from me but take it slow and take care

Best pla<x>yer, thank you for your advice and i somewhat agree with the things you say! and thank you for wishing me good luck. hope things get easier =[

u said '" don't feel any guilt in what i did. and i am glad i did it (wish it would have been with someone else lol). "<br />
ok so will ur fiance be equally gad to know about ur affair ? if not then there is a problem , he might be expecting that u shouldn't be sleeping with anyone else except him because u r engaged . <br />
U r really too young to get into this complicated things , break off ur engagement .<br />
i t looks like u r not ready for this whole thing & u will be again having another affair with the first guy u r attracted to . u have to first experience ur life , make a carreer , without any serious obligations & issues until u r matured enough & financially capable to be on ur own Then ony u can decide what u really want in a partner ?<br />
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best of luck